I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
October 16, 2013 - 4:40 p.m.
I should be doing schoolwork but I love my Gentle Readers too much to make them wait. My students will be happy with the delay. I have to make up and send them homework sheets.
Wow I just did some schoolwork. I realized I had it on file and just needed to print it out.
Before I do anything I have to get to not just an idiot story but a meta-idiot story. An idiot story about an idiot story.
Back on Sunday I wrote The Road to Fairfax Country . I carefully planned out the idiot story, setting it up innocuously with; "When I got off the subway I found that her bus was delayed so I took advantage of the time to go to Trader Joe's in Chelsea." I then never delivered the payoff. I went to Trader Joe's for eggs and half & half. That was on Friday. I think it was Saturday night, maybe Sunday morning that I realized that I had never put them in my refrigerator. They went directly into my garbage. I had to buy them again on Sunday. You know why? I'm an idiot.
I just found out that my school mailed my paycheck to the house I haven't lived in for over a year. I gave them a change of address and they seem to have lost it. Arrggghhh! This really isn't fair. I have so much trouble dealing with this kind of thing. It's one of the hardest things for my anxiety. I called today and if the check isn't returned they will cut me a new one. Usually the Admin picks it up and put it in my school mailbox but he's been out sick.
When I picked up my things at the Last Homely House West of the Mountains I discovered that I had bought a book that I had totally forgot about. Yes I'm an idiot. It's Dodger by Terry Pratchett. It's historical fantasy fiction not a Discworld book. Dodger is artful and his new acquaintance Charlie's last name is Dickens. Pratchett is an author so it's no surprise that in his view of a well-designed world Dickens is a hero and I believe he'll turn out to be a detective. He writes books and he also fights crime. Pratchett's worlds are all better designed than the so-called real one. If it has an author he (or she) is not a good one. Things don't hang together. Pratchett sees the world from the same place I do. He is feeling the same part of the elephant of reality.
I'm back from class. I used to have no trouble writing between classes and eating lunch. Now I can't get anything done.
I've been thinking about friends as onions. Not because they make me cry. Well Carey does but that's not what I'm getting at. Though she does owe me a prize, maybe turtle wax. But what I was thinking about is that my friends come in layers like an onion. I used to love to break down the world into usz and thems but now that seems too simple. There are many levels of kinship and you the closer the kinship the less people there are at that level. There are perhaps many levels that have no one in them but are theoretically possible.
What made me feel about it was the thought of spending a lot of time with someone that was in the outer layers. I found that disconcerting. I can do it and I have but it usually doesn't make me happy. I thought back to when I was a kid and I stopped seeing the friend I spent the most time with because I realized that I'd rather be alone.
I often talk and think about how much I enjoy talking to peripheral people in my life, security guards, mailmen, and food servers. And I do, but it's always for a short stretch. There is nothing I like more than spending time with people in the inner layers.
Do you view the world like that? Is that how you see people? Part of the motivation for writing this is expressing thoughts that are not usually expressed. We really don't know if others feel the same way. Some people assume everyone is the same as them. Others assume everyone is different. I don't assume because when you ASSUME you make an ASS of U and ME. I figure people will like it if they find that someone else does think like they do. And I'll feel good if others say they think like me. If they are the right others. There are plenty of people I don't want to have anything in common with. I once contacted a newsgroup user because I liked his username. Turned out to be Creepy Guy #2. I was not happy about that.
I better to some school work now. I promised the students homework and I have to write a quiz.
I really need to make lists of the things I want to write about. I should probably get to some politics soon.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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