I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

January 01, 2016 - 1:45 p.m.

A Tale of Two Desserts

I finally got myself on a decent sleep schedule the New Year’s Eve happened. I slept till almost 11:00. Now I have to write this, eat, then head off to my annual New Year’s Day party.

When did I become a guy that goes to parties? I was the guy that stayed home every New Year’s Eve and watched Doctor Who. What did I do last night I went to a party; not only that but I was invited to two! That’s one more than in any of the preceding 58 New Year’s Eves. The last five years I’ve spent it with Warren and Tina. That’s very hard for me to get to. This year I was invited to Elisa and Jon’s too, that’s very easy to get to. I took the path of least resistant and the course of new experience and went to Jon and Elisa’s. The invitation said 9:00 but I did not want to be the first person there. I left at 8:29; the Transit App said I’d get there at 9:13. It was wrong! I got there at 9:15. I can never trust it again. I actually know why it was wrong. It considers train stations points but they aren’t. Union Square is quite large and I was on the opposite side of it than it had me leaving from because that’s where the train goes. I do make sure to get on the car that minimizes my travel time after I arrive. I was right at the stairway.

Oh and I was the first one there but not by a huge margin. The only guests I knew there, Aviv & Piper and Allison & Joe were the last to arrive so I made new friends. Do they have names? Most of them did, there was Rob, Mike, Dan, Donna, Clare, and people that were unfortunate enough to not have names. Yes, that’s it. It’s not that I’m forgetting their names, it’s that they don’t have names. My New Year’s resolution is to delude myself about my reality to make myself feel better. I’m not going to take it to extremes and become a Republican. I still believe in evolution and global warming.

But of course none of that is what’s important. It’s not what the party or the holiday is about. It’s about the incredible maple syrup pie and homemade cannoli. When I got there I looked at the spread and asked about what’s there. I was told that the pie was “maple syrup pie.” Have you ever heard of maple syrup pie? How about you Steve? On Facebook Steve listed maple syrup as one of his three favorite drinks. Steve is Canadian. So I said to Elisa, “that sounds Canadian.” It is! Do all Canadians know this and keep it a secret because otherwise Americans would go through the entire maple syrup reserve? That’s a real thing, America has a strategic oil reserve, Canada reserves maple syrup. Was it any good? It’s pie made from maple syrup, how can this be anything but great? Get with the program. It’s like going to a party where Springsteen is the band and asking, “Was the music any good?” I really wouldn’t write about anything else except when Allison came she brought the fixing for homemade cannoli. Allison cannoli is plural right? Singular cannolo? She had freshly fried shells and filled them right before we ate them. That is the only proper way to serve cannoli. So you have probably never had an authentic cannolo. You probably also didn’t know that it’s symbolic of a penis. It’s traditional on New Year’s Eve as a symbol of fertility and so an prosperous new year. So I ate a penis last night but Allison assures me that it doesn’t mean I’m gay … not that there’s anything wrong with it.

Ok there was more than food. It wasn’t as important as the cannoli and maple syrup pie but I should still mention it. There was a lot of talk about music including neuro versions of songs. Was it Mike that came up with this neuro version of Ol’ Man River?

Carey is this how I should sing it for now on? This pretty much exists for Carey’s sake even though she’s never seen it.

My contribution was this soulful moving rendition of If I Had a Hammer by Debbie Reynolds. This is visual, you should watch full screen.

Still not as good as maple syrup pie and cannoli. Do you think we can get Debbie to play the The Budgiedome and do this?

When I was walking to their building I could see the Empire State Building, it was doing a dance. No I was not drinking! Instead of the usual static lights it was a moving light show. The Empire State Building was drinking. We could see it from the apartment. By the end of the evening it had a lampshade on its head.

My plan was to leave around 1 AM. Most of the crowd left shortly after midnight and the only guests left were Joe, Allison and me. I was having a bit too much fun. Next thing I knew it was 2 AM. Good thing it’s an easy ride home and I didn’t have to drive. I wasn’t drinking but I’m pretty sure other drivers do. That’s not an issue on the subway but I was concerned a few times while crossing the street. On the way there I passed one outrageously drunk person shouting in the street. On the way home none. People were quiet. What happened? I’m not complaining of course. When I got off the subway in my neighborhood there were some very loud people and I was of course annoyed at 3 AM.

OK now I have to get ready for my New Year’s Day party. It starts in 22 minutes. I am not dressed so I won’t be the first one there.

Did I mention that there was maple syrup pie and cannoli?





Annoying People - September 03, 2016
This Play Was The Pits - September 02, 2016
Banking on Getting Better or Avoiding Katastrophe. - September 01, 2016
Unlike Gilligan I Got Off the Island - August 31, 2016
Call of the Wilder - August 30, 2016




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile January 01, 2016
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