I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
December 18, 2015 - 3:46 a.m.
I have given up on sleeping tonight. I got to bed early but sleep wouldn't come. It is now 3:05, I have to get up at 4:13. If I'm not going to sleep I might as well write. It's going to be a long day, volunteering at wfuv from 6 AM till 5 PM then heading out to Port Washington to see Dar Williams. I won't get home till after midnight. I will then crash forever. Coffee is going to be my friend today.
Coffee was my friend yesterday. I did not get enough sleep yesterday but got an hour and forty minutes more than I should have. WFUV is having a pledge drive. I was supposed to be there at 6 AM, that means getting up at 4:13 so I set my alarm for 4:13. I went to sleep. I woke up and while it was still dark I felt far too rested. I looked at my phone, it was 5:53; I set my alarm for 4:13 PM. I called the station and there was no answer so I texted Jim and told him I just woke up and would leave as soon as I could. I was out of here by 6:13. It is much easier to get to the station at that hour as the ="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zMYKqqxuWak/UPruRYwHaYI/AAAAAAABiT0/JvaWj2Ekk7s/s800-Ic42/4_16.gif"> runs express. I got there at 7:40, an hour and 40 minutes late. Ugh. As a mea culpa I let Jim have the supervisor's seat all day and I took calls much of the time. It was not very busy. I ended up having to do quite a bit of supervising anyway. The volunteers were all experienced so I didn't have the problems with them skipping steps. The pledge forms won't work right if you do. But a few people hung up before submitting the form and there were then issues with the credit card numbers. There are ways around that and I took care of it. On one the entire pledge disappeared and I had to recover it from the browser history. It was well hidden. There's a reason I get paid the big bucks. Oh right I get paid nothing. Well I get paid a big nothing.
I had fun hanging out with friends and feeling useful. I am useful. But I still can't get anyone to write that I'm hot on the volunteer feedback forms. I might have to start adding that myself to their forms after they hand it in.
I was tempted to leave early but I didn't I at least had to stay to Brian, Lori not LORi, Rona, and Bob showed up in the afternoon. After that I just stayed till 6 PM like I was scheduled to.
I raced home, took care of a few things on my computer and went to bed. Too bad sleep wouldn't come. I was in bed before 9. I could have had seven hours of sleep. Instead I might have dozed off for an hour broken up in pieces over the night.
Should I just keep this very short? Maybe. I'm listening to Carolyn's last "Songs of the Wild Show." That had been on WMUA from U Mass Amherst. It's songs about nature. I listen religiously. She just played "I Go Like the Raven" by Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer. That's why I can't miss the show; she plays music like that. You can hear it on Mixcloud. Then you can hear my appearance on Brian Norton's show on the WFDU Archives. You'll hear lots of new music on that.
Something I've been thinking about is passive aggression. People misuse the term. It's not about making subtle digs or sarcastic remarks. It is exactly what it sounds like aggression through not doing things instead of doing things. It's they guy at the office that doesn't make the next pot of coffee when he finishes the last. It can be not doing things that people are accustomed to you doing. If a student brings an apple for the teacher every week then doesn't after the teacher gives him a bad grade that's passive aggression. I realized that it's something I'm encountering from a number of people in my life. I've been bothered by the behavior in any event so I think it actually makes me feel better to realize it's passive aggression. That is totally irrational on my part. Emotions are not rational. That's why Mr. Spock eschews them.
I'm actually scheduled to only work to 2 PM today as I thought I had to head out early to get to Penn Station then take the LIRR to Port Washington. But John Platt is going to Port Washington for the Dar show too, he's emceeing it, so I am going to pick up a ride with him. I'll use the extra time to crash in the student lounge. Let's see if I actually do it.
I am writing this aid total darkness. It shows that I can touch type as I can't see anything. Now let's see if I can get this posted.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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