I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
February 10, 2014 - 7:27 p.m.
Three days into the WfUV winter pledge drive and time is starting to blur. God did not mean for me to get up at 4:23 AM. Good thing he doesn't exist.
I don't know what time I went to sleep last night. It was after nine and before ten. That would have meant enough sleep if I hadn't awakened many times But on the bright side I have to say what didn't awake me, the Stairway Stomper. I spoke to her and explained that she woke me up every night at 2 when she stomped up the stairs. And to my surprise she didn't get defensive and said she'd try to not wake me again and she hasn't. See people can be better than you expect. It isn't as much fun to write about but it's a lot better to live with someone who is considerate. I was rewarded for asking her nicely. I might get back to that later.
My timing getting to WfUV on weekday mornings is tight. If I want to get there at 6AM like I'm supposed to I'd have to leave at 4:13. I am going to get up before 4;00. I could leave at 4:33 and get there about 12 minute late or I could leave at 4:51 and get there the same time providing I have perfect timing catching the MetroNorth. So that's what I went for. My timing was not perfect. The ran four minutes late and the MetroNorth train started to pull out as I reached the platform. So I was 25 minutes late. That isn't a disaster and it's what I'll do the rest of the week unless I happen to get up early. I was rewarded by not having my ticket collected so now I can use it on Wednesday.
Today's morning crew was good, lots of friends including Jim, David, Bruce, and Art. I just noticed there was a male bias there. I have to be pretty tired to not notice that. The only women on the phones were Fordham students.
As Jim was there and supervising we got to take turns test driving taking pledges on the computer. This is brand new. We don't get to access the database so nothing gets filled in automatically but for someone that writes as poorly as me it's easier. It felt like I was doing more things than when I do it by hand but I think it actually took less time. I'm going to have to time myself on Wednesday. I want to have real numbers to work with.
The second shift was light. Jim stayed but the only volunteers were Hara and Ellen. There were also a couple of students. The phones were not ringing much so we had enough people. Jim and I entertained everyone in both shifts with our well honed comedy routine.
Ellen and I exchanged Borscht Belt Jewish jokes. She didn't say it but she seems to share my belief that jokes are funnier with a Yiddish accent
I had pancakes, sausage, and bacon for breakfast. My new band is going to be called hot cakes and breakfast meats. I'll invite my vegan musician friends to be in it to supply the RDA of irony.
My next stop was therapy. I took a roundabout route there to save money, the Ram Van to the Fordham Lincoln Center campus I checked my PO Box while I was there. then the to the . Even though the van got caught in traffic jam I still made it on time. It was a strange therapy session as volunteering changes my mood so much. It suppresses a lot of the anxiety I had an attack just as I was leaving the station today but it was different than normal. I had the feeling in the gut but I was able to treat it like I do my physical illnesses and just calmly observe it and move on. I slept most of the trip to therapy. The upshot was I didn't have to deal with events of this week and could go back and discuss my history. Carey the last thing I talked about picking up Carey in Baltimore and driving to Allentown. That's one of my canonical stories.
So back to my nicely asking The Stairway Stomper to be be quiet. I'm pretty sure that people think of me as nice. At least people have told me that I'm nice. I am nice. But the thing is that is because I act contrary to my inclinations. As you might have noticed this nice person uses a not nice sobriquet for someone. That's what come natural. I'm acerbic. When someone annoys me I want to rip them apart. Don't worry I'm not psychotic, I mean verbally not physically. My gut reaction to stupidity, selfishness, or anything that rubs me the wrong way is sarcasm. I want to call a spade a spade. I vent here about people but I'd much rather do it to their faces But I don't. So I am nice. In fact I pay an emotional cost, denying myself the pleasure of insulting them. So I'm nice because inside I'm mean but don't let it out.
OK now I'm going to make myself dinner. I didn't bring something home today as I wanted to actually cook.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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