I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 03, 2015 - 9:17 a.m.
I am not leaving super early tomorrow I have to meet somebody at 11:00. I can probably get away leaving at 10:20 or so. But I know that I'm having trouble getting to sleep at a decent hour which means that even when I get up at 8:30 there's no way I can jump into writing and be finished by then. So for the second day in a row I'm writing at night. But I think I won't post this till morning. I might even wait to finish it up then. I used to update at night all the time. I used to hate waiting for the next day as I'd forget too much of what happened. The problem is that less people read entries I post at night. At least I think so. Of course yesterday lots of people read it. That might be because they were reading my posts from five and ten years ago. It might also be because the day before I asked people to like the link to here on Facebook. The more people that comment or like a post the more people Facebook will show the post too. So hey, like the post that sent you here. Even better comment. I wonder if just following the link helps. No point in telling you to do that. If you hadn't you wouldn't be reading this.
So today I traveled North of the Wall, the Bronx border, to visit Melissa. I did not see any white walkers though I wasn't far from White Plains. I'm sure that's where the name comes from. Did a masterful commute. I got up and got ready and times it so I was in the subway station just a few minutes before the left. I used Google Maps to know when it was scheduled to leave then another app to tell me when it was actually ready to leave. The subway got me to Grand Central station 13 minutes before the train to Scarsdale left. I bought my ticket and in the ten minutes I had left I got myself a breakfast sandwich. I made the train with about a minute to spare. It was never really in doubt.
I had to take a cab to Melissa's from the Scarsdale station. I figured they'd be on the side I got off as most people needing a cab would be coming from the City. But why should I guess when I could ask. So I did and was told the cabs were on the other side of the tracks. When I crossed over I found out that I was told wrong. When I crossed back over the last cab was leaving. I went to the office and was told I had to wait 15 minutes. I had Uber fired up when a cab came. I waited less than five minutes. Why did the dispatcher tell me 15 to 20?
Now I have to give some back story. Melissa broke her left ankle. Oh and her right ankle. Oh and her husband Yoram sprained his ankle. I think they were attacked by Nac Mac Feegle and don't want to tell people as they won't be believed. If you do not what Nac Mac Feegle are look it up. I went up there to help out, to be Melissa's house boy. Brian said I'm Peter from Bachelor Father. I'm clearly Kato from the Green Hornet. If mobsters tried to get it I'd have kicked their butts.
So what did we do? I did little things that required having at least one working ankle. There are a remarkable number of such things we each do every day without taking note of the need for ankles. I also kept her company. OK she kept me company. I'm pretty sure I got more out of this than she did. I have been lonely and unhappy. Seeing Melissa was a cure for both. I got to feel useful too. Too bad I'm too blind to drive. That would have been very useful.
Melissa had to take a nap and I used the time well. I watched TV, something I don't usually get to do. I saw a movie on my list too, X-Men First Class It finished just as Melissa woke up. Sometimes things work out. I am such a sucker for the X-Men. I wish they didn't botch the concept of evolution so much but the stories have other strengths. What other superhero series has a villain who is not quite a villain but someone warped by his experience in a concentration camp in WWII?
Melissa had to go to pick up her kids. I couldn't drive and neither can she so a friend drove her and I took a cab back to the train station and headed home. This time purely by chance I had perfect timing and arrived less than a minute before the train got there.
I remember to take chicken wings out to defrost for dinner tonight. I had my special Buffalo wings with honey. I like inventing my own dishes
I'm taking positive steps to fight the loneliness. I am seeing Carolann for coffee tomorrow and I asked my sister Alison to go see Kristin Andreassen with me next month in New Paltz. I think we can walk to it from Alison's house. Joy is coming in from Australia and I'm going to be seeing her. She actually asked me. I'm avoiding social situations that cause anxiety. I'll actively fight the loneliness till I get into a situation where I don't need to make the conscious effort. I clearly need to buy more chocolate. All I have now is my U-Bet. How am I supposed to stay happy without chocolate?
I'm going to save this now and see if I want to write more in the morning.
OK it's the morning and I don't want to get into politics or philosophy. I want to eat. So I'm posting this.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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