I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 07, 2016 - 9:10 p.m.
I'm watching the Met game while I'm writing this edition of Wise Madness. They lost the first game of a double header and they are behind 1–0 in the second game. Make that 2–0. The will the mood of my writing match the game? I don't know. I guess we'll find out. I can look to see how my fantasy team is doing to cheer up. The Nashional Batnoses are still in first place.
Yesterday's entry did not say much about what I did. That means I have two days to write about, too bad I didn't do much. Yesterday's big excitement is that I got to program in 50 minutes. The best part is that a half an hour of that was walking from the train station to the hospital. A train came in New Rochelle right after I got there, it was a train that was scheduled for earlier but was late. That left me in Harrison more than a half an hour before the next bus was scheduled so I walked. The weather was perfect so that was one of the best parts of the day. I love a nice walk in the sunshine.
My plan for last night was to watch the Mets game, it got rained out. While it was delayed I watched the Simpsons, the B Sharps episode was one of them. When I gave up on the game I decided to watch The Martian on HBO Go. I did not get to see the whole movie; Dan called me in the middle and we talked for quite some time. Sure he says he was being nice but I suspect he called just to make sure I can't finish the film. What can you expect from someone that thinks Dawes is good and Dylan is bad?
I didn't finish the The Martian but as I'm not sure if I will be able to finish it tonight I'll write about it now. I love it. It is science fiction in the style of the 1930s and 1940s when anything about space travel was outside of ordinary experience. The stories often revolved around basic physics and orbital dynamics. "Hohmann orbits" were often mentioned. That's the low energy way of traveling between planets. It is hard science fiction; the setting is not an excuse for an adventure story or social commentary. It's about solving problems inherent in the setting. What I love, and that is so unusual, is that the heroes are scientists doing science. There are a few elements that strike me as catering to the people that want standard character drama, but that's not the emphasis. The way things get done is not by being brave, or following your gut, or ignoring the odds. They are done by using science and reason and being brilliant but not absurdly brilliant. People aren't inventing amazing things on the fly. I haven't seen the end but so far it is right on.
I think the Zoloft is kicking in but so far it's just helping against the depression, not the anxiety. That is still appreciated though the anxiety is what causes me problems. I didn't think I was depressed but now that it's gone I see that I was. Being totally hopeless should have been the tipoff. I've been depressed before and recognized it. This time it just seemed like a reasonable way for me to feel. Now that it's past I can see what happened. Hey that was pretty happy for the Mets now losing 3–1. I am happy to just be watching the game. See I'm not depressed.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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