I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
July 06, 2013 - 10:17 a.m.
Weird day yesterday. I got something important accomplished but mainly vegetated. I spent last night at Chris and Seth's apartment because it's only 4, I was wrong when I said 3, blocks from an apartment I wanted to see at 9:30 morning. Oh, I already wrote about that when I got back. So yes I loved the apartment and said I'd take it. Now it's just a matter of working out the details. Just in case I looked at more apartment ads and made an appointment to see a place in Windsor Terrace today. That's still close to all my friends in an even nicer neighborhood. It just doesn�t have the great bagel shop and my friends won't be mere blocks away. Still I'd be very happy there. I looked at more ads and then kept meaning to leave but instead I just ended up sitting in the apartment for hours. I was about to leave at one point but then Carey came online and I talked to her. Then Katherine called and I talked to her on the phone. The Chris came home and I talked to him. Like Sam Spade I'm a man that likes to talk. I thought I might go to the movies as I couldn't find an apartment to look at yesterday. I thought I might go to my office. I ended up just heading to 42nd street and figuring out what I'd do when I got there. I checked on movies and almost went to see Man of Steel but it wasn't in IMAX or even 3D and I would have to rush then leave later than I wanted so I decided to just treat myself to a good dinner. I thought of going down to Hill Country Barbecue but it was hot and sticky and I was carrying around my computer so I went to Virgil's Barbecue on 44th street. It was expensive but as I didn't go to the movies I figured that I spent the same as if I had gone then went out to eat. I do not recommend them. I had the ribs/brisket combo. I don't know how they cook things but the same rib was done inconsistently. Some parts came off the bone and were wonderful but others were dry and stringy. The cheddar cheese grits were good. Now I want to go to Hill Country for good barbecue. It's all Karen's fault. She went there on her birthday and posted pics. I have to figure out what I'm doing on my birthday. It's in 13 days. Don't wait till the last minute to shop.
When I was done I checked the train schedule and went to Grand Central Terminal. I was going to leave at a peak hour and pay the upgrade on my off-peak ticket. The App on my phone said the train was at 6:36 but when I got to the station there was no train leaving that time. The 0ne thing I absolutely hate about Metro North is that there is no place that lists the next train to each stop. You have to not only know which line you are on but know what stations each train will stop on. If not you have to find the printed schedule. I found the printed schedule and it said there was a 6:36 train. So I went to the information booth and was told the next train was 6:55. What happened? They must have been following a weekend schedule but that wasn't posted anywhere. Is that any way to run a railroad? The trains run on time and are clean and the station is glorious but Metro North is not good at communicating.
Despite the fact that I didn't do anything all day I was exhausted when I got back to the House of Tom Bombadil. I'm emotionally spent. Oh and my digestive system isn't happy and that's drained me too. I got into bed and managed to play on Turntable.fm with Carey. So I got to talk to her twice in one day. That drained a lot of my anxiety.
Today I'm looking at another place. It's going to be beastly hot but Katherine is meeting me so I will have company and get to talk more.
After I talked to Carey I got a snack and talked with Tom Bombadil and then still needed more self-indulgence. I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was wondering to other people put an actual effort into keeping happy when things aren't going well like I do? Do you do that? If you don't how do you keep functioning? I couldn't. I'd be a quivering mass of jelly. Well OK I don�t like jelly, maybe fig butter.
I watched perhaps the best episode, Lie to Me A strange episode to make me feel better as it's as dark as they come. It's the epitome of what the show did at the best. it externalized the emotional issues we face by putting a demonic face on it. In this one Buffy has to deal with her best friend from LA betraying her. She is emotionally spent dealing with life's complexities. Giles told her it's growing up and she wants to put a stop to it. When Giles asks what he should do she says "lie to me." It's absolutely brilliant.
I'll end with not one but two things that made me happy yesterday. Buffy and Moxy Fr�vous .
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile July 06, 2013
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