I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
July 11, 2017 - 11:16 a.m.
I thought of some brilliant things to write about yesterday. Too bad I didn't think of writing them down. I know I found some way to undo the election. It will come to me again.
My excitement yesterday was going grocery shopping, you know what? That's not exciting. I can't turn everything into an adventure. Oh! I can! I committed a crime and evaded the law! On the way home from Aldi I just missed the BX12-SBS bus. I bought ice cream and was afraid of it melting before I got home. That's pretty exciting too, right? Would the ice cream melt? That's pretty much the archetype of suspense. But it gets better. I checked the bustimes website and it said there was another bus just a few minutes away. That never happens. I was going to complain. When it came I hopped on. The SBS in the bus name means you buy a ticket from a machine before you get on. It allows the bus to spend less time at each stop. It works well. You can go in any door not just the front. As soon as the door closed it hit me. I was so worried about the ice cream I forgot to buy a ticket. I was now a criminal! If they checked when I arrived in Pelham Bay the police would discover my misdeed. I'd probably be beaten to teach me a lesson. They'd send me to trial and be found guilty. They'd have me dead to rights. I'd be sent to the big house to live out the rest of my days. I only had to take the bus one stop. That helped. There was only one place for them to catch me. We pulled into Pelham bay and I tried unsuccessfully to turn invisible. I looked around. There were no cops! They didn't check! Whew. That was the second day in a row this happened. Coming home from the shiva call I was a bit confused as to which bus to take and I neglected to buy a ticket. When the bus pulled in the driver was pissed at me as I took my time boarding as I was making sure it was the right bus. I had to take this one many stops. I could have been stopped at any of them. I wasn't. Am I going to become an adrenaline addict? Did I unconsciously not buy a ticket yesterday to relive the rush I got the day before? I see what I'll be discussing in therapy on Friday.
There was one other time I didn't have a ticket and there was a cop there when I got off. That time I had no money on me and had to refill my time at the train station. How come I'm not in the hoosegow now? Because I'm a middle-aged white man. I walked right by the cop and while he stopped the young black woman next to me.
I had mystery chicken for dinner last night. It was frozen and I wasn't sure they were thighs or wings. I wanted wings. When the defrosted I could see it was thighs. I tried something new when preparing it. In addition to the various spices I always add I chopped garlic and put that on top of the thighs. That worked well. To some degree I add spices at random. I pick one off the rack and put it on. I couldn't find the cumin I was looking for so I used tarragon, at least it might have been tarragon. I have no idea how tarragon tastes. It came out great. That is what I love about cooking. If you use enough garlic it comes out fine.
I was good today. I picked the date for my birthday party and sent out invitations on Facebook and Evite. At least one person is coming. I worry about that. This is why I'm proud of myself for sending out the invitations. It is setting myself up for a fall.
Even though I stopped the new med, the depression seems to be weakening its hold on me. I experienced some depression triggers and shrugged them off. The pain lasted less than a minute. You know that I'm feeling a bit of it now as I think about it but the fun of reporting on it in real time cancels it out.
I bought frozen sausages yesterday and I think that means I have to have sausageeggandcheese today. I need to get bagels again. It's just not as good on anything else.
Tonight, I have a doubleheader, first John Platt's On Your Radar and then my fantasy baseball league party. Doing both means leaving OYR early and I hate doing that but I go to over a hundred concerts a year and this is the one and only league All-Star game party. This is the best compromise.
Hulk Smash! - July 16, 2017
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