I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 17, 2015 - 11:44 a.m.
What I'm finding is that I don't want to wake up in the morning. Tomorrow I'm getting up around 4 AM I should have been happy to be up at 6 today to ease myself into it. But when I found myself awake then I didn't want to be awake. I was not looking forward to starting my day. I wasn't even having a good dream. But it was better than being awake.
Yesterday I was home getting ready to go to Trader Joe's when I got a text from Joy. She was at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and wanted to know if I wanted to join her. Of course I did. That's one of my places. For some reason I have not been there yet this year. Just the other day I reposted this photo essay from last year, Ithilien and the Garden liked and commented about it on Facebook. So I hopped on the subway and met her at the Japanese Garden. It was of course at the far end of the Garden and I went the wrong way around the lake to reach her. When I arrived she was taking a picture for some visitors to the Garden. Why didn't I ask them to take a picture of me and Joy? Oh right I'm an idiot. I didn't take any pictures yesterday. We wandered around and we talked and we stopped to smell the roses, literally. Then she had to head up to Astoria. I still had to go to Trader Joe's. She was going to take the but I told her to take the for the view. And in fact I joined her, figuring I'd go to the Trader Joe's in Union Square and I'd get to talk to her and be a tour guide. So I pointed out the zoetrope on the line after DeKalb. I was confident she'd know the word zoetrope. Do you? Do you look at it as you go by it? You can also see it on the . Then we emerged from underground and crossed the Manhattan Bridge. The trip between DeKalb and Canal is the most scenic ride on the subway. When that's an option it's the route I take.
When I got off at Union Square I started to walk in the station towards Trader Joe's when I realized that I also had to go to the bank. So I then hopped on the to go to the Trader Joe's in Brooklyn which is also by my bank. It is also far less crowded. That was not a waste of time as it gave me more Joy time.
I was going to go out last night and see the Amigos Band but by the time I got back it was too late to head out again and I was tired. In fact I soon crashed and took a nap. I hadn't taken anything out for dinner but I have the food in the freezer for just that contingency, frozen hamburgers. I know how to cook them frozen and come out just the way I want. I had cheesy hash browns with it. I haven't been making the hash browns much recently. It's supposed to be emergency food for when I don't really want to prepare something. I melted cheese whiz and put it on top. That was good. Not very healthy I'm afraid.
I haven't written much about James Branch Cabell lately but I never go long without thinking about his books. There are two quotes of his that bookend my life.
The comedy is always the same. In the first act the hero imagines a place where happiness exists. In the second he strives towards that goal. In the third he comes up short or what amounts to the same thing he achieves his goal only to find that happiness lies a little further down the road.That's been the pattern of my life. I really need to take the Man in Black's advice.
What keeps me going is the quote that's on the top of this page.
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were provided to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...I can see the exquisite wonderfulness here in the land of Nod east of Eden even if I didn't find me there a wife.
I have to get up at 4:13 tomorrow morning so I should try to get to sleep around 8:00. I'll settle for 10:00. As I've been finding it difficult to fall asleep before 2 AM that will be a challenge.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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