I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me โ that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter โ except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 16, 2014 - 12:51 p.m.
I'm feeling much better today filled with energy and life and have no idea what to write about. Well I do and I'll get to it but I need to warm up.
Yesterday as you might have picked up from my last entry I sat around and moped. I didn't get out of the house till the evening when I went food shopping. And even that was a disappointment. I needed Taylor Ham and they only had the slices. I like the entire, well what do you call it? Is it a sausage? A lump? A rounded cylinder?
When I was feeling really bad I watched Red Dwarf. I had totally forgotten Kryton started with a different actor. I watched it on Amazon Prime. When it was over it gave the "Viewers that watch this also watched " It said, "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency." I have never even heard of it's existence. Has any of my Gentle Readers watched it? Am I the only one that missed it? For the heathens out there I should explain that Dirk Gently is the hero of a couple of books by Douglas Adams, the author of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." The first book with the same title as the TV show was great. It was actually based on an unaired episode of "Doctor Who," "Shada." The second was a disappointment. The TV show was great! Far better than the hit Brit cult shows like the new "Doctor Who" or "Sherlock." It gets the feel exactly right never too silly and never too serious. It gets you thinking the entire time. The actor who plays Dirk is nothing like I pictured him but no matter, he hits the nail on the head. It looks like there are only four episodes and that's a shame. Anyway watch it in Amazon Prime or anyplace else you can.
I guess it's time to write one of the entries I've been carrying around for a week. It might just be because of the title. It was this or another Wilde reference, "A Woman of No Importance" perhaps changed to "A Man of No Importance."
Years ago I read How to Win Friends and Influence People. One of the main themes is how important it is to people to feel important, to feel special. People hate being treated as a statistic. Most complaints can be resolved by a simple apology. People just want to know that the offender thinks that their feelings matter, that they matter.
This desire to feel important is a powerful motivation for good and ill. So many acts of terrorism are committed by people that feel powerless to make them and or their group to feel important. A major impetus for writing this was reading Kristoff's column, In This Rape Case, the Victim Was 4. Why does this kind of thing happen so often amidst the most desperate and powerless people? Partly it's the feeling of "I might not be important but I'm more important than this woman or this girl."
Bill Clinton had a moment of self-awareness and honesty when recounting a moment of shame. When asked why he did what he did with Monica Lewinsky he answered, "Because I could." Even the president of the United States wanted to feel important on a personal level.
Of course it also motivates so much that is good. How many people have been led to acts of greatness out of the desire to be important? We'll never know, people aren't proud of wanting to feel important, but we all do.
It always amuses me how excited people get to get a shoutout on the WfUV question of the day? They want that moment of fame. That I don't feel as strong. I get a ridiculous amount of frivolous attention. I'm friends with musicians so I get things like my name being sung on the main stage at Falcon 'Ridge. I get mentioned at concerts I'm not at. And I do care about it but not because of the people hearing it but because it's nice to know that people that I care about, care about me too. That's the importance that's important to me. I was never happier than when I had friends who felt that they needed to talk to me every day. I've gotten looks that made me feel more special than all the public praise I've ever received.
When I'm blue the most common reason is that I don't feel I have a special place in anyone's heart. Sometimes the hardest thing to hear is "but I treat everybody that way" from someone that shouldn't be lumping you with everybody. The most satisfying way of being important is for someone to divide the world into two groups, me, and everyone else.
I don't go out of my way to make people feel special but I try to not inhibit myself from saying something when I feel they are special. I know some very special people and I don't just mean talented musicians. I told one of my friends recently that she's one of my heroes, because she is and I felt she should know it. And you know something, Having special people in my life makes me feel special.
OK this is way shorter than I planned I thought this was going to be thousands of words long. Where's the rest of it? Can I only think about this when I'm unhappy and feeling unimportant? No because some days I didn't write about it was because I had been very busy and was feeling great. This is my curse. If I could write with just my brain any time and any where I'd be a lot better off and this blog would be awesome. Everyone would read it. I'd be important!
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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