I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

February 03, 2015 - 12:32 p.m.

Gay Connections

I need to start doing things so I have something to write about. How can I keep up my ratings. You know what sells? Sex. OK who is going to have sex with me so I can write about it and boost my readership. … OK I think I just figured out why there are so many members of the I Don't Want to Have Sex with Gordon Club. That's a thing. Women fight over who is the president.

So I broke down and opened an Instagram Account. You can go follow me now. I have no idea what to do with it. But I took a picture yesterday and posted there and on Facebook. Now I had time to edit it and make it better and I'll post it here.


Snowy Union Square

I passed that on the way to therapy. I might start posting more things like that. I have a picasa album of pictures taken in New York.

New York City

After therapy I went up to my PO Box. Then I headed home. I made soup for dinner. I think the broth was in the refrigerator too long after I opened it. I was running to the bathroom all night. I'll throw out the leftovers. I hate waste like that but I'm not my mother. I won't risk my health to avoid wasting food. My mother would risk the plague rather than throw something out.

I watched more Doctor Who. I saw the last episode of Matt Smith's first season and the first episode of his second series. These are what got me to stop watching the show when it was first on. I had forgotten just how bad the writing was on The Big Bang. I actually forgot the entire episode. It's like forgetting a car accident, trauma can do that. If I were teaching a course in science fiction writing I'd give it an F. No I wouldn't even accept it. I'd say, "this is NOT science fiction. This is manipulating emotions without any use of logic whatsoever."

And that gets me to what I really want to talk about. I know many of my friends loved that episode. And that makes me realize how different our minds work. And that makes me feel alienated.

I spent much of my therapy discussing the flip side of that, feeling connected. I love when people's minds do work like mine. Any time I look at Facebook I get shocked at how dense some people can be and delighted at how others minds do work like mine,. I love when I can make an obscure joke that leaves out multiple steps and people can still get it. One of the reasons I am addicted to social media is that I can find these connections. It more than makes up for the pain of being faced with stupidity.

No I'm missing my point. I don't want to rant about Doctor Who. That's not important. I'm trying to write about being lonely and what makes me feel connected. There are so many degrees. I feel so good when somebody can keep up with my mind when I'm pinballing around. And even better when I'm keeping up with their thoughts bouncing off the bumpers.

There's more of course. There's mutual caring for each other. It can't be purely intellectual. It takes love too. But it can't be just love, it needs the intellectual connection.

I'm fumbling no. I don't like that. I want to write about this but find I am not succeeding. So know what I'm going to do. I'm going to punt.

So I'll write about something else, same sex marriage. Why? That it isn't in the news. More to the point it can be pandering. I know most of My Gentle Readers agree with me on it. We are all for it. But I had a new thought about it the other day.

When same-sex marriage started to be an issue many gay activists thought it was a distraction, not what mattered the most. But what hit me now was that the drive for same-sex marriage accomplished more than making it legal for the majority of Americans. It has changed attitudes. This advance in Gay Pride was not about pride. It wasn't about being gay. It was about saying, "We're people just like everyone else with the same emotional needs." It made it so clear that it wasn't about special rights, but about being accepted as human beings. It made people see gays not as gays but as simply people. It was so much, "We love each other and want the world to accept that just as they accept it for straight people." And the key word is people. For some it broke down the barriers. They ceased to see gays as "the other" but as part of us. That's a huge accomplishment. Expanding "us" makes the world a better place.

OK that's better. I like the guy that wrote that. He can put two sentences together not like the illiterate writing about being connected.

OK now for breakfast. I'll go simple today, Eggs Benny.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile February 03, 2015
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