I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
April 28, 2014 - 9:01 p.m.
My therapist asked me when I start planning what I'm going to discuss at therapy. I answered, "As soon as I leave your office." I observe my life through the twin lenses of Wise Madness and therapy. I'm always observing my life as I live in.
So you'd think I'd know what I was going to write about but what happens is that I think of so many things that I'm not sure which to actually write about. Today I've considered self-analysis, world events, religion, and the usual details of my day. So who do I decided? I start with the events of the past day and see if they lead anywhere.
This morning I was up at 4:10 AM to get to WfUV by 6 AM fore the drive.. I have to remember to check Google Maps before I leave to see when the next train is due in. I check the night before but things can change in the morning and I don't like to wait in the station longer than I have to I the morning. Today it was a 13 minute wait and I think I know why. I try to leave at 4:33 and I did but I realized after walking a lbock that I had forgotten my phone. That meant I missed my train and would take the next one which would et me to Grand Central only 3 minutes before the MetroNorth train I needed left. I got to the station and saw plenty of people waiting so I didn't just miss a train. it came nine or ten minutes before I expected. That's great as it would get me to Grand Central with some time to spare. I got there and was so happy I didn't have to rush. The train left at 5:40 and it was 5:31. So I checked the app on my phone to see what track the train was on. I saw it was 5:38. My watch was slow! The train hadn't gotten their early. I had to race to make my train. I made it. Good thing I had already bought the ticket.
I didn't supervise much of the day. Now that I can take pledges on a computer I don't mind taking them. My handwriting is so bad I always felt better not taking pledges. It made things easier for everyone. I'm good at supervising and bad at writing so it was not a good use of my talents. But now I let Jim supervise and I took calls. I had one good schmooze talking to someone that knows Jimmy Webb! You don't know Jimmy Webb? You should. Google him. You know the songs he wrote. he's a god.
I had to make a 2:39 train back to Grand Central so I could get to my 3:30 therapy appointment by Union Square. I am compulsively punctual and set my alarm to remind me to get ready to leave at 2:19. The walk to the station is a bit more than five minutes. I left so much time because I know I am never ready to leave instantly. Today I was in the bathroom when the alarm went off. I've been in the bathroom a lot this week. Then I got back and Lyle was there and we schmoozed. I then grabbed my stuff and left. I got about a third of he way to the station and realized that once again I forgot something. This time it was my test. Welcome to my world. It isn't easy not having a brain. I raced back, grabbed the test without talking to anyone, and raced out again. This time I walked quickly, got to the station, bought my return ticket, and got on the platform just as the train was due to arrive. It was a couple of minutes late so I had a safety margin.
Last week my therapist took such a negative view of my life. It's part of why it was a bad session. This time she was more encouraging even though this week I was in a much better mental state and didn't need it as much Volunteering always helps me. It gets my adrenaline flowing and gives me validation. I'm good at it. She liked the things I did to make myself feel better. I always work on my viewpoint to make myself feel better. I don't always believe it works but sometimes it does.
After therapy I went to Max Brenners and was hugely disappointed. The chocolate pasta that I had last week, and that I had never seen on the menu before last week, was no longer offered. It was the best thing I ever had there! I tried the peanut butter s'mores sundae. It was good but not that special. It didn't help that the service was slow.
Wow I wrote a lot and about what I did and didn't even talk about grading. I won't now. It was frustrating. That's all you need to know.
I have been having a war with one of the other residents here. He is the only other one that uses the kitchen. He has slowly been stealing all the kitchenware. we had four large plates and four small one. He now has in his room all the small plates and two of the large ones. He took every single table fork and every spoon but the long fountain spoon. The landlady got some replacements but she just doesn't know about these things and bought some super cheap soup spoons that are too thin and cheap salad forks which bend under the pressure of cutting off a piece of fried egg. I finally took the two remaining plates and flatware, bad as it is, and brought them into my room so I knew I'd have something if I needed it. Then last night I left the long fountain spoon in the kitchen. It's gone now. He denies it has them but he's the only other person that uses the kitchen. The landlady said she'd get new stuff for me but she doesn't know what to buy. I had to give her a hard time but I don't want to eat off what feels like plasticware even if it's metal all the time.
Well I never got to the stuff I wanted to write about and now I have to get back to grading. One of these days I'll write about something cerebral again.
OK let's end on a lighter note. The new premium this year is the WFUV picnic blanket. I decided it makes a better cape than a blanket. Here I am trying it out.
There should be a cover charge to volunteer. I give a floor show. I should at least pass the tip bucket around.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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