I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

July 29, 2014 - 11:16 a.m.

Food Porn

I so wanted to say something sarcastic and resisted. But I will now say it here with no context and get it out of my system. "We heard and we are all so proud of you." Isn't there something about people in glass houses I should be thinking of? Nah.

Yesterday was therapy and as I've been in bad shape I both looked forward and felt anxious about it. It gives me anxiety to talk about my anxiety. I pretty much have to bring up the things making me anxious. I told her about my new glasses and that I flirted with the optometrist and said "Now I can see that you're cute" when I put the test glasses on. Now my therapists expects me to tell her she's cute next week when I can see her. It's so hard being gallant.

I needed more therapy after therapy so I went for the strong stuff, Max Brenner. I ordered this.


That did make me happy. I decided I'm not in the emotional state to read Dead Souls yet so I'm doing another reread of The Lord of the Rings. I read that every few years. It's my literary comfort food. I used to read it four times a year. I read for longer stretches of the day back then. I once read it on a weekend. I'm early on and now like Sam I'm going with Mr. Frodo to see elves. Hurray! I pretty much never identify with Sam. When I read LOTR I'm Frodo, a bit of Merry and Pippin, more Gandalf and Faramir, a touch of owyn, and of course lots of Bilbo. I read a few passages that always stick with me yesterday.

I should like to save the Shire, if I could though there have been times when I thought the inhabitants too stupid and dull for words and have felt that an earthquake or invasion of dragons might be good for them.
I surprised myself I only used the phrase "Invasion of dragons" five times in Wise Madness. I think of it far more ofte. Whenever I people arguing or politically obsessing over nonsense I think we need an invasion of dragons to give us focus.

Then there's Frodo quoting Bilbo about "the road." It starts with a verse of a longer song.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began
Now far ahead he Road has gone,
And I follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with wearly feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errand meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
Certainly it reminds me very much of Bilbo in the last years, before he went away. He used often to say there was only one Road; that itw as like a great river: it's springs were at every doorstep, and every path was its tributary. "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. he used to say. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet there is no knowing where you might be swept off to. Do you realize that this is the very path that goes to Mirkwood, and that if you let it, it might take you to the Lonely Mountain, or even further and worse places?"
I have been thinking quite a bit of that theme and it's part of why I decided to reread LOTR.

I just got a call, my glasses are ready? I can see today!

I have so much to do today and I'm still having trouble doing it. I better keep this very short and get started. I have to pick up my glasses then head out to my storage, gather everything I need for Falcon Ridge. Call a cab and have it take me home. Then get to a cleaner and get my suit cleaned for Max's wedding. I need the suit tomorrow. I'll have to pay extra, I hate that I procrastinate. But I can't dwell on that or I'll get more anxious and procrastinate more. That's exactly what the problem is.

OK now for breakfast. I guess it's poached eggs and ham today.





Annoying People - September 03, 2016
This Play Was The Pits - September 02, 2016
Banking on Getting Better or Avoiding Katastrophe. - September 01, 2016
Unlike Gilligan I Got Off the Island - August 31, 2016
Call of the Wilder - August 30, 2016




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile July 29, 2014
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