I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
May 16, 2016 - 8:22 p.m.
The life I'm leading is not conducive to blogging. Do I blog less often? The problem with that is then the emotional need goes unmet. Did I do anything worth writing about yesterday? Pretty sure I didn't. How about today? I got to the program early today so they could take my blood. Actually I got there early because even though they said it was OK to arrive ten minutes late I don't like arriving ten minutes late. I even talked about my desire to be punctual in one of the groups today. But back to blood because blood brings in the eyeballs, just look at Game of Thrones. Nobody came to take my blood on Friday so today I went down to the lab before program and didn't wait for them to come to me. He wasn't happy with my elbow veins which I thought odd as I still have them popping up. They all collapsed after my hospitalization in 2001 but they've regrown and nobody has ever had trouble getting my blood since then. He took it out of the back of my hand instead. I didn't get the results but it came out the right color. The phlebotomist didn't even smile when I said that.
I suspect that I'm not a typical patient. I don't see other people singing TMBG's Why Does the Sun Shine as they go to and from having blood taken. That was today's earworm till I mentioned in a group that on Friday my earworm was Bob Marley's Three Little Birds. Then it went back to that. I was told I had the timing off. Well yeah, I suck at that.
This is how my day goes. I get up, grab something to eat, then race out of Brynden's house. I walk a bit over a mile to the bus stop. It takes 18 minutes walking normal, today I walked quickly but forgot to time it. It was 44°F when I left. I treated it like Falcon Ridge. I wore two hoodies and cloth gloves. That was just about right. I tried to not be too early as waiting for the bus is the worst part. Of course walking quickly made my wait longer. The bus ride is about 50 minutes. The day consists of four group sessions with a 45-minute lunch break. Coming home takes a bit longer as there is more traffic. It was beautiful then and I put one hoodie in my bag and explored an alternate route on the walk.
I'm getting friendly with a few other people in the program but still have lunch alone. That's good it gives me reading time. I'm valuing alone time. I tried art therapy today. That was a waste. It was just socializing while we draw. I'll choose the alternative next time. I will also choose to not journal even though I love journaling. It's not about me enjoying myself. I am going to try everything offered.
Oh food, how can I not talk about food. Today lunch was macaroni and cheese. That was the first meal I wasn't happy with. You should not need a knife on mac and cheese. Not that I didn't finish it.
I did free writing/stream of consciousness in journaling today and I can use part of it. The Game of Thrones part. I watched last night. I'll give warning if there is to be spoilers. I'm not sure if I will. Hell, I'm not even going to use what I wrote. I'm just going to write about the book and TV show. Let's start my list of characters I like the most. That is not the same as favorite characters. The Red Woman is an interesting character but I don't like her. These are the ones that I would have as friends and or identify with.
New thought today, there are only three character on the show I think of as intellectuals, Samwell, Tyrian, and Varyus. They all have physical limitations, Sam is obese, Tyrian a dwarf, and Varyus a eunuch. This is a stereotyping.
Now for Wildings. How can there be a huge army of 100,000 people north of the wall. What do they eat? It's shown as an artic or at best subarctic waste. How can it support a larger population than south of the wall? You can feed 100,000 in a concentrated area by hunting and gathering. Notice that not a lot of people live in Nanavut. Lapland, or Greenland.
That was spoiler free.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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