I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
July 28, 2014 - 10:52 a.m.
No idea what I'm going to write about today. I didn't do much exciting yesterday. Heather and I got ice cream at Ample Hills Creamery. That's right near the The way Station so I showed her that. Where else is the bathroom the best thing about a bar? It looks like a TARDIS. Then she made me a plantain and quinoa casserole for dinner. I officially like quinoa. See that I like something healthy.
Now for a PSA. I heard an explanation of why they asked people to exit from the read doors on the bus. It's obvious but I had not thought it through before. If you exit from the rear people can get on the bus as you get off. It shortens the time you wait at a the stop. if everyone did that significant time can be taken off the trip. Since then I have been using the rear door and noticed how much it slows things down when people don't. Now I feel stupid that I haven't done it my whole life. But I feel virtuous every time I do it. So now you can feel virtuous and do it every time you ride the bus. OK I don't do it when nobody is waiting to get on at a stop as it then serves no purpose. I'm rational not a blind follower of rules. I once heard someone say they moved to Seattle because when they visited they saw someone wait for a light to change at 2 AM to cross a street even though there wasn't a car in sight. That's what leads to "just following orders."
The problem with using the rear door on the bus is that it does not help you. It only helps other people. It's hard to get people to do things that don't directly benefit them. That's why you have to get people to think of the community. They have to realize that if they do it it makes other people more likely to do it and that benefits them. There will of course always be people that won't do it. There are always those that won't recycle. They are always those that don't let people off the subway first. I just try to never be one of those people.
There's a ton of things that I need to get done. I'll avoid talking about the ones giving me anxiety and talk about the ones that I'm putting off but don't put me into panic mode. this would be opposite of most people's lists. I am panicking over Falcon Ridge and just anxious over health issues. And it isn't the health that's bothering me but the making of appointments. So here's want I need done medically.
First I have to find doctors. Do I need to get a primary care doctor first or can I start with the gastroenterologist? I have not had a GI exam in forever. I need colonoscopy. I need to get a prescription for my Crohn's. I used to take 6MP maybe there's something better now. I need something less toxic than prednisone. I need to find out if my cancer has come back. Not sure how they will do that as it was in the small intestine. I'm sort of hoping it's swallowing the little TV camera that goes down my entire GI track and takes pictures. Then I hope I get a video of it I can watch at home.
I need to get my hernia repaired. Have you noticed that I have a lump on my stomach? That's what it is. I hope I don't need any other surgery. I don't think I will. Unless I have cancer of course.
I need to see an ophthalmologist about my cataracts. I might need to have them removed. That would be good as I'd see better. See I'm actually looking forward to surgery.
I need a psychiatrist. It's the least urgent but if I got anti-anxiety meds it might make the other things easier. I have anxiety that it won't make it better which makes me put it off. That's what anxiety is about.
I know I get a free physical. I feel fine so I'm not expecting other problems. OH I have arthritis in my shoulder Maybe that can be helped. Whatever I take for the Crohn's might help that.
So that's the stuff must people would be worrying about. Not me. I'm worried about picking my stuff up from my storage unit. I have to do that now. But can't. It is already too late to do it today as I have to get to therapy. sigh. If someone could give me a ride from Jamaica where the storage is to my house in Brooklyn that would take away a level of anxiety. I can do it tonight too.
OK enough of that. I'll finish by talking about something fun and good. I'm going to be on the cover of Acoustic Live. Richard interviewed me and took a picture. I'll be famous! Don't worry I'll still remember the little people. Will women throw themselves at me? It doesn't need to be plural. It can be just one if it's the right one. I'm not optimistic.
I live a strange life. I do nothing noteworthy but in the same year I get a movie and a magazine article about me. Maybe I should recalibrate my brain so silly things like that are what's important to me. I could discuss it at therapy today. Don't think it will work.
Now to make bacon and eggs. They always work.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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