I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

November 20, 2015 - 12:43 p.m.

My Life: Music, Computers, and Anxiety

OK this is ridiculous, it's late November and I was kept up all night by mosquitoes. I finally fell asleep, god knows when, and didn't wake up till 11 AM. I hate sleeping the day away. And it's not like I'm well rested. OK I have to write about two day so I'll jump right into it. The two parts will be quite different.

Wednesday night I went to see Jennifer Kimball backed by Cuddle Magic. I love Jennifer Kimball, I love Cuddle Magic, combining them works. I'm glad they see the combination works, I think many people wouldn't. Jennifer is a straight ahead folk singer/songwriter. Cuddle Magic plays something in the Neuromusic greater greater Metropolitan area, they create their own aesthetic as the go along. It's not music you'd think of going with folk music where you usually have simple music to accompany the lyrics. But it is exactly what I like. The way I'm putting it now is that I like music with many moving parts. Jennifer and Cuddle, hey if I call Jennifer by her first name shouldn't I do the same for Cuddle? Jennifer and Cuddle complement each other. Jennifer sings her beautiful lyric driven song while Cuddle Magic, sorry I just can't keep up that affectation, does their own thing which at first blush sounds like it has nothing to do with what Jennifer is singing. They are doing their own instrumental piece that just happens to work harmonically perfectly with what Jennifer is singing. It's like playing Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz, not that I've done that or really quite believe it works. But this combination does.

So now let's explore something else with lots of moving parts, my mind. When my computer broke I put out on Facebook that I wanted to borrow somebody's old computer. Eliot came through. We met at Tom's Diner, no not the place from the Suzanne Vega story. This one is in Brooklyn and has a great reputation. Every time I went there it was closed. I figured it went out of business. Eliot told me that it's because they close at 4 PM. What kind of Diner closes at 4 PM? It's a coffee shop. Actually the name is Tom's Restaurant. Still don't get why they close early. But what's important is that the food was great. I had eggs Benedict since I can't make that at home. I had never seen it served like that but I loved it. I also loved the conversation. I have interesting friends.

Now comes the part with my mind's moving parts, or perhaps it's parts that should be moving but wasn't. You'd think I'd rush to turn on the computer and get online and write Wise Madness. Nope instead I got home and worried that I wouldn't be able to connect to the network or remember any of my passwords so I wouldn't be able to log into anything. So what did I do? I took a nap and wouldn’t move. I did keep running through scenarios where I couldn't get anything to work. That's what anxiety is. I kept that up for quite some time. It took me hours to get the nerve to turn the computer on. When I did by some miracle I remembered my Facebook password. Then I did the most important thing. I synched Firefox. I fortunately knew the Firefox password. That means I had access to all my passwords and all my bookmarks so now my browser looks just like it did on my computer. Whew.

I caught up on some things but finally totally relaxed and watched The Librarians online. Yes I even had my passwords to access TV on the computer and the computer could handle it though not so smoothly. This has an XP operating system. I'm writing on a dinosaur.

Today I have a whole new set of anxieties to deal with. I can't even write about what I'm anxious about without getting anxious. I need work-arounds to deal with them. I'm smart, I'm self-aware. I should be able to come up with them. Of course I'm anxious that I won't be able to.

OK. I'll post this than eat. Is it a bacon and eggs day? I think so.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile November 20, 2015
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