I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
May 10, 2015 - 11:46 a.m.
Not sure what I'm going to write today. Let's see if this writes itself. If not I have some things in my backlog waiting for a slow day.
Yesterday was a bit of a letdown after the previous days celebration of finally getting the money my school owes me. I did not speak to anyone by voice or even online other that a very brief exchange with Katrina. There was a time that I looked forward to and created days like that. Now it happens too often. So what did I do? I was almost out of food, except for breakfast meats, so I went out shopping, twice. The first trip was to Trader Joe's and the second to Pathmark. I bought a ton of stuff but not enough of the the two staples I primarily shopped for. Trader Joe's was out of conventional gold potatoes. The organic cost much more and I'm not going to pay it for something I think of questionable value. I went to Pathmark to get meat but there wasn't much on sale. I got a lot of chicken thighs. I can make the several ways so they'll do for a while. What did I buy that was fun? Scrapple and Chocolate Chex cereal Oh and seltzer, egg cream season is here.
I made jerk chicken for dinner. I tried something I haven't done in ages with the potatoes. I basically made thick baked potato chips. I sliced and Idaho potato fairly thinly, coated them with olive oil, and baked them at 425°. That was yummy. The best was dessert. I had my first ice creamed coffee. That's putting ice cream in cold coffee instead of ice. It's me so it was chocolate ice cream. That is so good.
My stomach has been so good lately and I think part of the reason is that I have no peanut butter in the house. I have no problem if I eat a peanut butter sandwich but if I eat it out the jar I get the runs. The problem is I can't resist doing that. I can resist anything but temptation. So what did I do yesterday? I bought peanut butter at both Trader Joe's and Pathmark. Pathmark had a really good sale on Skippy. Let's see if I can resist eating it out of the jar.
I did resist eating it last night and then after I went to bed my digestive system started to percolate. I don't know what triggered it. I might just be overeating I had so much of the chocolate Chex. In any event a little before 3 AM I found myself in the bathroom and my digestive system sounded like bubbling cauldron for half an hour. That kept me up. But it also meant I could finally have a conversation with somebody, Amy aka Elvira. She's a singer/songwriter from near Glasgow, Scotland. I met her because by pure chance she as on bills with friends twice in the week she was in New York a few years ago. I have two friends that I speak to with some regularity in Europe, both of them live in greater Glasgow. Emilie just moved there in the last year. How weird is that?
When I put my sandals on I saw a black spot on the nail of my right big toe. My first thought was that I got something on it. Then I realized it was black and blue. I wondered if I somehow did that when I walked to The Living Room the night before. But I couldn't see how that could do it. Then I remembered. On Friday on my way to my PO Box someone at the Atlantic Terminal Station asked me a question. I could not make out a word he said. He was speaking English but slurring his speech terribly. I don't think he was drunk. I think he was mentally ill. I tried to understand him but finally gave up. I told him, "I don't know." That's a truthful answer as I don't know what he was asking. I got on my train. After a while he did too. He sat across the aisle from me. Then as we were on the Manhattan Bridge he got up to talk to the young woman sitting next to me. He stepped on my toe. That's why it was black and blue. Now normally that won't happen from someone just stepping on it. But somehow he did it very hard. I let out a yelp when he did. I don't think he deliberately stomped on it though I wouldn't rule it out. I think the difference is that when most people feel something under their foot and hear a yelp they realize what happened and take their weight off their foot. He didn't. I didn't get angry at all. I know that he has problems and can't help it. Instead I felt guilty that I feel so uncomfortable around someone like that. I got up and moved to the other end of the car. I stopped and looked out the window on the door so it would look like that's why I got up. What I feel guilty about it is that it has to feel horrible that people get up and move to avoid you all the time. But that's what happens and I'm part of it.
How little self-control do I have? I just finished the Chocolate Chex.
You owe me a thank you. I took a picture of my toe but I'm not posting it here. But talking about pics here is one I took at breakfast yesterday.
I have never seen that happen to an egg before. The yolk broke and a bubble rose in the center but it never ran. If you ever had this happen let me know.
Somehow I have written 983 words about a day that I didn't do anything.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile May 10, 2015
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