I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

October 30, 2013 - 12:36 p.m.

Sorry Wrong Number

I want to make up a test today so I'll try getting this done between classes. And I didn't update yesterday so I know you're just jonesing for your Wise Madness fix. Where did I pick up "jonesing?" It was the word that immediately came to me but I can't remember the last time I heard or read anyone else using it. I don't know where that sort of thing comes from. Does that ever happen to you? You unaffectedly use a rare word or expression?

Yesterday was my last day at the WFUV pledge drive. It ends today. I had to get up at 4:25 AM but I was not exhausted. I wasn't even particularly tired till I got home. I did get the edema in my left leg from standing to long but I caught it early enough that elevating it got rid of it right away.

The way the subway schedule works I either take a train that is scheduled to get into Grand Central Station 5 minutes before the Metro North train leaves or a half hour before. That latter would involve getting up before 4 AM so I risk missing the train and getting to the station 25 minutes or so late. The subway is always a little late. So I get off at Grand Central and make a mad dash to the platform stopping for an instant to check which track. Yesterday I made it with seconds to spare but the train left a minute late.

We were short of volunteers in the morning. There were two students, one volunteer and me. That kept us busy. I got some more help but I don't remember from where. I think it was studetns assigned to do other things. I always enjoy talking to the students.

More help arrived for the 10 AM to 2 AM shift. I know Hara was there. Oh and Gayle. This is what happened to the volunteer that gave me a hard time.

. I'm hard bur fair.

That reminds me of something from one of my very favorite TV shows, the British SF epic, Blakes 7. All the shows about small outlaw crews on ships fighting a repressive government, like Firefly are inferior versions of it. The villain the first season was Travis an officer in the empire's army. He's a total bastard. One of his men says about him,
"He's a hard man."

The guy he's talking to says, "but fair."

The soldier says, "Not often."

"Then why do you follow him?"

"Because he doesn't waste men."

I always loved that exchange. I always hate when the evil person has all these underlings loyal to him for no good reason. The writers of Blake's 7 knew that requires a reason and it's a good one. If you are fighting a war you'd much rather have heartless bastard that keeps you alive as your commander than a nice person that gets you killed.

During the third shift I was joined by Lori not LORi, Rona, and Bob. I got too see George when he came in for the fourth shift but that's when I left.

I was kept very busy all day. That does wonders for my anxiety. The only down note was that there was miscommunication between me and Katherine. She thought we were meeting for coffee yesterday and I thought it was today. So I got the kind of message I hate, "Where are you?" It was just miscommunication. I don't know or care whose fault it was. I just know I hate the feeling I get when Im the one waiting and I hate making someone else feel that way even more. Here's the kind of thing that makes my head spin. I know there will be no hard feelings with Katherine. We both know there was nothing even thoughtless about what happened. There's mutual trust. But that makes it worse since it makes me feel worse for her. If it was someone that I knew would get mad I'd be busy being offended that the person was getting mad.

After my 12 hour shift I didn't go straight home. I went to Pathmark to pick up a few things, that reminds me that I have to go to Trader Joe's today. Ugh, I forgot to bring shopping bags. OK today is official "I'm an idiot" day. Let me count the ways.

  1. I left the house without my phone.
  2. I left the house without shopping bags even though I knew I needed to go shopping.
  3. When I got to school. After stopping in my office I brought my backpack not my briefcase to class in another building. That meant I had to go back to get it as it has everything I need for teaching.
  4. I made a zillion mistakes when teaching. I kept copying things wrong and forgetting things.

I'll blame some of it on being awakened by a phone call at 1:40 AM. It was from California. When I answered the caller asked, "Who are you?" I told him that he called me and he hung up. We all misdial now and then. How do people not learn to be polite when someone you don't know answers the phone. You ask to speak to the person you want. You identify yourself. You don't demand that the person you called identify himself.

I have to get to class now. One of these days I'll catch up with the stuff I want to write about.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile October 30, 2013
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