I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me โ that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter โ except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
March 05, 2013 - 1:43 p.m.
Shoot me! I wrote about 500 words and closed the page thinking it was something else and didn't save it. Arrgghhhhhh!
It isn't easy not having a brain.
I didn't do much yesterday. I went to therapy. That was a bit weird as my shrink is a lame duck. I'm looking to replace her. I don't want to go without anyone so I'm not leaving her till I find someone new. If you like your therapist can you ask him or her to recommend someone for me? I prefer a woman with a behaviorist or cognitive approach but I'm open minded.
After the shrink I had my therapy dinner. I think that might do me more good than therapy. I have something I really enjoy. As I had to go to Chelsea to pick up my prescription I went to BarBQs. I've had mixed experience there with the counter person and the food. This time everything was right. I couldn't decide between the pulled pork or the brisket. I said, "I'll have a platter " I trailed off as I was deciding. She decided to finish the sentence; "The pulled pork." It was not a question. She knew that's what I wanted. It was. She was great, charming and funny." It makes such a difference. Her choice was right. I loved it. I had the waffle fries and corn bread as my sides. There was one problem. I couldn't finish. There is only one reason for me to not be able to finish a meal, Crohn's disease. I didn't feel sick but I knew an attack was on the way. I had to go to my office and as soon as I got there I took 20 mg of prednisone. That always clears it up.
By then I was in discomfort, not pain. More important I felt weak. But I was good and did the work I went there to do. I printed out the test I gave today and inserted them into the test booklets. I also wrote up instructions in large print to put on the other side of the test papers.
Read this before turning over!
I then took the test and wrote up an answer key that I copied to give to the class when I hand it back. I didn't go home when I was done because I wanted to wait till I felt better. I didn't feel 100% till after I got home.
Today I gave the test. I did a great job in timing it. It was a rare test I wrote from scratch. I figured the fast people would be done in half an hour. I was right. They had 70 minutes. Most people finished on time. Those who didn't either arrived late, as much as 20 minutes, or did problems very long ways that I told them to not do, or most often were just waiting for a miracle to occur and they'd know the answers to the questions they couldn't do. They were all very straightforward mechanical questions that anyone who did all the homework would find easy. Of course most did not do all the homework.
I don't have much time now as I had to write this twice so I'll stick to writing about school. First some things about students; in class last session one did a problem a totally ridiculous way. It was just multiplying fractions (actually rational expressions). He confused how to multiply with adding. Adding is harder, you have to find a common denominator. Multiplying just involves factoring then canceling. What he did was multiply by what was needed to have a common denominator then canceled the exact things he just multiplied. I pointed out how pointless and time consuming that was but he wanted to do it that way anyway. He's rather waste time and effort than think about something. That's a lot of what's wrong in the world.
Today in class a student had a question. It's hard for me to walk through the room, the seats are very close together. When I went to walk to her she met me halfway. We were standing next to each other when she asked me. She stood extremely close, we were in fact touching from shoulder to hip. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it. Was she using feminine wiles on me or is she just one of those people that stand close. I'm not one of those people with space issues. If it were a friend I wouldn't have an issue. For some people it's a sign of feeling comfortable and affection. I actually like that. But this is a student and some distance, both physical and figurative must be maintained.
Somewhat related to this is a something another faculty member said to me. He was talking about a student and started by explaining how attractive she was and her ethnic background. I found discussing either of those things inappropriate.
OK now to post this and eat something before class.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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