I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 09, 2016 - 10:24 p.m.
Writing while watching the Met game is becoming routine. They are beating Milwaukee 2–0. That means I'm in a good mood.
Today I had to go to get my evaluation from the Department of Social Services. That was pretty stressful. I'm not going into the results for now. Things need to be discussed with my program. But I can talk about going down to Vandam street. It's a short street so without looking at a map I knew it was near City Winery and could get there easily. I actually got there very easily as the amazing person I'm staying with drove me to the . We are closer to the but I needed to be on the west side. It takes two busses to get to the . I gave myself plenty of time to get there. Good thing as I would have been better off taking the ; there was no downtown ; it was running express till right after my station. I Had to take the uptown up to Gun Hill Road and switch to the downtown train. Google maps said I should switch to the which takes me just a few blocks from Vandam but I decided to stay on the express down to Chambers and walk up and take advantage of being able to angle west on Hudson Street. Or so I could tell you but that would be a lie. The truth is I fell asleep and missed 14th Street. My suspicions about the Zoloft making me sleepy are strengthening. Of course it was a nice day and the walk was only 0.8 miles.
My next stop was my mailbox up at Columbus circle. I then felt the need to reward myself and as there was no music till late tonight, too late for me, I went for food. You knew that right? I did a double food bonus. First I went to Hill Country Barbecue. Damn, Hillary really needs to hold events there. If Bernie won it would be KFC. Then I went for something I haven't had in ages, Max Brenner's. For those poor souls that don't know about it, it's a chocolate restaurant. I got there and was delighted to find that my favorite dish, chocolate pasta, was back on the menu. I could never understand them getting rid of it.
That's not really pasta, it's a shredded chocolate crepe. The "cheese" sprinkled on top is white chocolate. The meatball is chocolate ice cream and the sauce is chocolate ganache. I had them leave off the hazel nuts. I wonder if I could have substituted peanut butter sauce. Wow that would be incredible. Next time I ask. If you go there, order it. This is chocolate, I know what's good. I'm sorry, I pretty much can't think of anything else at the moment. I'm reliving the memory. This is going to sound flippant but it's not. I was thinking about suicide not that many weeks ago. But how can anyone think of killing themselves when the world has chocolate pasta? It looked to me like I'd never get to enjoy so many things again. I was wrong.
I was going to talk politics but how do you follow chocolate and suicide? I could expand on it but I don't have to. I think that pretty much says it all.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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