I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
June 29, 2013 - 9:38 a.m.
I am being picked up in 45 minutes so I am going to write a very quick edition of Wise Madness.
Yesterday was a weird day. I don't know where it went. I spent much of it with Goldberry who then drove me to the train station as I once again commuted into the City. Once there I headed to my PO Box. I had no mail, then to school to write yesterday's edition. My ultimate goal was going to Crown Heights to see an apartment. I got an email saying that the woman I was subletting from was going to be late so it moved our appointment from eight to nine. That meant I had to miss Michaela Anne at Union Hall in Brooklyn, which would have been convenient but I got to see two brothers at Rockwood that Kathy recommended I actually made it to Rockwood, a bit late. I actually got in the door and heard a song. The problem was I was having a huge anxiety attack. Rockwood was set up without seats and it was crowded and that's no place for someone with anxiety so I left. I went to eat instead. I had to do that anyway. I went to Lucky Burger for the first time in a while. The guy at the counter said, "Hi Gordon" when I walked in. How do people do that? The anxiety eased a bit sitting there and eating and playing on my phone, I then headed into Brooklyn. The apartment is around the corner from the cupboard under the stairs. I don't like that neighborhood but it is convenient and it's cheap. I got there half an hour early, it was raining and had to figure out what to do, it isn't a neighborhood with lots of places you can sit and wait. I went into Popeye's which is right by the subway and texted her that I was early and asked if she were there. After 10 minutes it stopped raining so I decided to walk and wait outside the apartment. When I was almost there I got a text saying she was there. When I arrived she came up to me and asked if I were Gordon. She had a problem, her key all of a sudden didn't work in the outside lock. We went to the hardware store to have a copy made. Yes I know that makes no sense, copying a key that doesn�t work will make another key that doesn�t work But the store was closed in any event. We went back. A neighbor helped and by jiggling the key the door opened but it didn't when she tried. I tried and it worked, .., eventually. She tried and it didn't work. Finally the neighbor let us in with his key.
The apartment was nice and has AC. She was very nice. Of course she is the one vacating for the summer so I wouldn't see her, I'd see her roommate who wasn't there. I decided to take in anyhow and will hear from her today. I'm not happy about moving back to that neighborhood but the rent is right and there is a chance it will be permanent.
After that I rushed home. I got on the 4 train to Grand Central and of course got there 2 minutes after the 10:00 train. The gelato place I discovered the other day was closed. The 10:32 makes every stop so it cost me more than 32 minutes. When I got to Hartsdale there was no cab. I waited and waited. I tried using UBER, an app, to call a cab. They aren't connected with anyone in the area. I used google to find a cab but the closest was in White Plains and they didn't have a cab available I asked people waiting for the train and asked if they knew a cab number and I called that. They sent one But then the cab came that always goes to the station. He just missed the last train because he had another pick up then. It was the same driver that picked me up when I first came here. But of course I had to wait half an hour for him to show up. The upshot was I got back after midnight when I left Brooklyn at about 9:30. Not a good day for someone with anxiety. Good thing today will be fun. I'm going to the American Roots Festival in Caramoor.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile June 29, 2013
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