I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 04, 2015 - 11:44 a.m.
I'm hungry I better get this written. What I'm not done yet? But I'm even hungrier now. I could of course just eat first then write but I know that lowers my readership and My Gentle Readers are more important than my physical needs. Did you know that H.P. Lovecraft died while obsessively answering fan mail instead of eating and sleeping? I'm not that dedicated. Of course I don't get fan mail. Why don't I get fan mail? What's wrong with you people? But I'm like a Jewish mother; sure I complain that you never write but I love you anyway.
Somewhat of a weird day yesterday. I didn't do anything weird but my decisions were not my usual ones. I have not planned out what I'm going to write. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't I liked the first paragraph, maybe that's a good sign.
I got out of the house early yesterday to have coffee with Carolann. This was not a helping me get my life back in order coffee, this was a two friends sitting around talking with the aid of caffeine coffee. As I've been lonely that was important for me. We even went someplace new. I think I traveled about twice the distance as I did to get to the library where we had been meeting and it took me all of three minutes longer. Why? Easier trains and an easier if not shorter walk on the other end. We met in the heart of Park Slope. I really should have gotten up early and walked there through the park. I really should do a lot of things. It was in the fifties when I left my house. I almost wore a heavier jacket then thought better of it and wore my light jacket, but not just my windbreaker. It was just the right warmth. 20 minutes later when I got off the train I was hot. Partly it warmed up but partly I think that as in Briarwood I live in a cold microclimate. It's warmer once I go five blocks. So I got there, took off my jacket and rolled up my long sleeves. That's a big difference.
Was there anything we talked about that I can write about here? Probably if I could remember them; we ranged far afield. But all I can remember of course is what I can't talk about. We both needed to go to Atlantic Terminal afterward so we walked there. That nice. OK I have to take a walk today. Put that on my list of things to do.
So here's the problem. I have now told you about the most emotionally significant part of my day and there wasn't much to tell.
I went to Atlantic Terminal to go to Pathmark, I knew I had some things on the shopping list on my phone. I didn't bother to look what they were. When I arrived I found just two things, round steaks, which are always on the list till they go on sale, and grits. The grits was all I really needed. I was going to buy nasal strips but I forgot my coupon so that was out. I ended up buying quite a bit. Chicken breast filets were on a great sale. That should also permanently be on my shopping list. I also bought cereal, cocoa pebbles. I only buy that kind of thing on sale too. And here's why I don't take drugs. I finished the entire box yesterday. I can resist anything but temptation. I also bought double chocolate chunk yogurt. I had one of those. It wasn't good or even very chocolatey. I am not a yogurt person. I ain't got no culture.
I made my favorite dinner, at least the main course. Do you know what it is? This will be on the final. It was sweet garlic chicken. I used the chicken breast.
I had a choice of two concerts to go to last night. Here's the weird part. I went to neither. It was a mixture of anxiety and for one of them not wanting to go to a late show. That's the second time this week I stayed home instead of listening to music. I am going out tomorrow and Saturday for sure, they have been on my schedule forever, it's Sam BakerSpiral Sounds Concerts and Jean Rohe at First Acoustics. Sam is the only one I don't write about often enough to merit a macro and that's only because he doesn't play here enough. I believe there are still tickets available for both shows. They both get the super special recommendation. I hear a lot of music so I if give a super special you should listen to me. I rarely do it.
I am considering going out tonight. I really should and I can make it a night out on the town even though it would all be by myself. Jennifer Kimball is playing with Cuddle Magic at Branded Saloon. That's a block from my second favorite ice cream in Brooklyn Ample Hills Creamery, and across the street from one of my favorite restaurants, the Vanderbilt. I haven't been there in ages. I am trying to be super frugal but I might make an exception and splurge tonight. I didn't have the expense of therapy this week and it would be good for my mental health. If someone wanted to join me it would be even better. But OK I'm going to do it and I'm going to walk there. It's a form of taking care of myself.
Here's a sad thing I forgot to post on Monday, the standings for my Rotisserie baseball league. My team is the Nashional Batnoses. That's your team too, right?
Yes your beloved Batnoses have fallen out of the money. The first four positions pay off. We have moved up since then to fourth place but I'm trying to give the results each Monday. We will come back!
Hey remember how hungry I was? I'm still hungry. I'm going to make breakfast now. I'll make a ham and cheese omelet.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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