I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
February 07, 2015 - 12:22 a.m.
Today I am going to blog about blogging. Why? Diaryland where I post Wise Madness is down. I didn't try to post till last night anyway as I was out yesterday morning.
I started blogging back in 2000. Here's my very first entry, Introducing Horvendile King of the Batnoses . Notice I started off briefly. Now if I write less than a thousand words I feel like a slacker.
So why do I do this? Why am I driven to write this? As I've said many times I started to make Carey happy. She wanted me to blog. Making Carey happen is important. But that's not why I do it now. I've blogged when I was pretty sure she wasn't reading this. No it fills some inner needs. The plural is needed.
One goes back to what I was writing the other day about feeling connected. I want people to know how my mind works. I want others to see the pinball bouncing of the bumpers of my brain. I want others to know how I'm feeling. Like everyone I hide so many of my feelings. For a long time I have not been happy for the most part. But I don't want to bring the world down. And people don't want to be around someone who is always negative and that would make me more unhappy. So here I can let you know,. Of course even here I write more of my positive emotions. Nobody wants to read a sad sack either. And the thing is connecting with you, My Gentle Readers, makes me happier.
I want to change the world. To do that you have to change the way people think and that's a lot of what I do. I try to inform and give you facts but even more I want you to think things through. So often that's what's missing. Sometimes I want to change people's political behavior. I try to change your minds or get people to agree with me to do something. Sometimes I just want you to talk about it with other people, to spread the good word, the gospel. And yes that's purely metaphoric. God knows I don't believe in god.
Sometime blogging is a vehicle for me to express my creative side. Actually it always is. Everything else is perhaps just an elaboration on that theme. But sometimes that's all it is. My favorite entries are often just humor pieces designed to make you laugh. I don't try to be funny every entry but I think I am funny in most of them. It's part of who I am.
Writing every day gives structure to my life. It's the one thing I do every single day. Well OK I also eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. And you know what I write about all those things. Structure is important. Without our structures our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof. I hope everyone got that.
To get shallower, I blog because I'm good at it. It brings me praise. Yes that's shallow. It isn't what I like to think about. I prefer to dismiss it but that's not honest. It isn't the main thing but it's part of it. But more important because I know that I'm good at it, I get my own praise. I get a feeling of accomplishment that I don't get from many things. Every day I give birth to something that wouldn't exist without me. So many of my friends are creative people. You must feel the same thing. If not you should.
I have a friend who is a musician, not a good one but a great one. She told me her doubts about what she is doing with her life. She felt that she should be using her organizational skills for humanitarian causes. Now I'm all for humanitarian causes. Hell I advocate them here all the time. That's often the action that I try to push you to do. But lots of people can do that. Not many people have genius. If you can make great music and don't you're wasting a rare resource that nobody else can mine. Nobody can create the same art as you. I've always valued creativity above all other human attributes. My heroes have not always been cowboys. My heroes have always been scientists and artists. Those of the people that I have always wanted to be. Einstein spent a lot of his time on political causes, peace, human rights, and Zionism. But he always knew that the science was what mattered the most. The politics was for today, the science for eternity. It isn't just the Einsteins. It's the Terry Pratchetts. It's all of those wonderful musicians I listen to. You don't have to be Beethoven, you can be someone playing the the Budgiedome. I wouldn't book you if I didn't think you were special.
When I write I get a sliver of that. I put it online and it stays there. And even if it didn't if you read it, it will stay at least partially in you. And that's important,. It can't just be within me. That's why I write a blog and not a private journal. There's something I wrote in yesterday's entry that I'm now going to delete because it's too private. I let one other person read it. I'll save it the way it is then delete that part for publication.
OK now to figure out where I am going to post this. The irony I that today I'm good and I finished writing before 11. Of course I'm supposed to be finished by ten.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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