I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 12, 2017 - 11:12 a.m.
I'm sleepy this morning. I'm not quite sure why. The exciting part is that means I have an excuse if this is slightly less brilliant that usual. That’s the problem with setting such a high standard of bloggery.
Yesterday was Wednesday and that means therapy. The therapy is helping but it is also enjoyable. Sometimes I dread going because I know we are going to go over rough ground for me but it feels good at the end. I'm sure there are people that go to therapy because it's 45 minutes when you have someone's complete attention and you can talk about yourself the entire time. I think that's a big part of what was going on with my previous therapist. I always had issues with her. She did not address my problems directly. But even then, it helped. I'm not sure if I have friends that resist getting mental health help but if I do, rethink it. Therapists have many approaches and you have to find one that works for you.
The weather was nice yesterday and I took advantage of it. After therapy, instead of waiting around in the lobby playing on my phone till the bus came, it comes only once an hour, I walked to the station.
I had an adventure on the subway Saturday night that I forgot to write about. I took the train from Brooklyn to 63rd Street. When I got in the train I noticed this strange guy sitting across from me. He was saying strange things and I wasn't sure what was going on with his clothes. He was fully dressed but it looked like there something like underwear stretched across both ankles. I might have thought homeless but he had a bicycle It was upside down in front of him. It had a carrying container filled with things and a walkie-talkie sticking out of it. It looked like what cops and transit workers use. It's New York, I see strange people all the time and read the Times on my phone and paid no more attention. When I got to 57th Street, one stop from mine I put my phone away. Then I noticed that the guy was gone but the bike was still there. I know that it was probably nothing but a mentally ill person acting erratically. But this is exactly the kind of thing that the "If you see something say something," warnings are about. When I got off the train I went up to one of those new communication devices they have at some stations and pushed the emergency button. I reported exactly what happened and described the bike. Then I went on my merry way. I'm not one of those people terrified about terrorism. I have written here many times how people's fear of terrorism is irrational and the risk very small. I have never not done something because I was afraid of an attack, not even right after 9/11. So why did I report it? Because the risk isn't zero, these things do happen, and they often can be prevented by simply reporting them. It took almost no effort on my part and only about 2 minutes. I was not going to nor report it out of a feeling of self-righteousness. I wouldn't put people at risk, even if the risk is minimal, just to prove a point. This is not like reporting someone because I heard them speaking in Arabic. I didn't subject anyone to discrimination. The guy on the train was gone. That was the entire point of me reporting it. That he left a bicycle which with a container filled with things on the train. That's unusual enough to warrant a report. I'm a hippie freak supporter of the ACLU but I'm also a good citizen.
Now I'm a hungry citizen. Breakfast is calling me. I'm thinking of doing something unusual, poached eggs and Taylor ham on a hot dog roll. I have rolls that I'm afraid will get moldy if I don't eat them soon and I'm not having hot dogs for dinner the next few nights. I'm making my world-famous sausage-potato-garlic soup tonight.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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