I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

September 16, 2014 - 11:27 a.m.

Axe Me Another

I wasn't having an anxiety attack I bet I could write a good entry today. Writing usually ameliorates my anxiety. Let's see who wins this fight.

I'm having anxiety that all this writing about my anxiety is lowering my readership.

Writing things like that helps my anxiety. I like words. I like my writing. Yesterday during therapy I read a letter I wrote with a lot of emotional impact. When the therapist said she liked what I said in one paragraph I got all sidetracked because what I liked what the use of language. Forget the fact that I as spilling my guts what I was taken by was my technique. That wasn't a avoidance technique on my part. I confronted the emotions full on but I got distracted by my use of parallel construction. It's something I do whether it's about me or something else. I think it's a bit Doctor Whoish. Fourth Doctor of course.

After therapy I went to the bagel shop. They had no salt bagels. I was crushed! I'm totally out. But I couldn't wait around for them to bake more because I had to head to Bell House for a taping of Ask Me Another. It's a trivia comedy show that I've never heard even though it's recorded in Brooklyn, has someone I know, Jonathan Coulton as the house band, and Diana was contestant on it. Don't ask me why I never listened. It's my ridiculous living conditions and my anxiety. Why did I say to not ssk? I answered it.

Chris got tickets and had an extra and I grabbed it when he offered it online. Doors were at 6:30 and Chris couldn't get there till near them so it was my job to snag a good place on the line. I was upset because I couldn't get there till 5:45. There was only one other person there and she didn't bother lining up she sat on a couch so I was the first person. it is general admission seating with standing room but hardly anyone was there early. They told me it is like that when the show is sellout. It's funny how the culture o these things differs. for Moxy Frvous people lined up hours early for a good seat. For Thrilling Adventure Hour at Bell House people get there at least an hour early. For this hardly anyone was there before doors. Chris did get there a few minutes before they let us in. I did get to eat while I wait. They sold great pulled pork right at the front of the line. I didn't have to move to get it.

Chris and I snagged our seats plus one more for Richie, his friend who actually works for WNYC and was handing out swag before the show. I got sunglasses.

The show has a VIP guest and this week's was a fav band of mine, Lake Street Dive. They are bit and they live in Brooklyn and they are why the show was a sellout.

The show is somewhere between You Bet Your Life, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and Remote Control. Jonathan is billed as the house band but he functions more as the host Ophira Eisenburg's sidekick. He did play on one round. Each round has it's own gimmick. In one every answer involved the word "snap" and the contestants had to snap their fingers instead of saying "snap" or they got it wrong. The chatting with the contestants was a lot more amusing than on Jeopardy. One question they asked was "What celebrity would you marry, no questions asked?" I had good one for that. I'd have said, "Rachel Price" the lead singer of Lake Street Dive. This is totally me to as we've met. Before they were famous I marched for them when they opened for Crooked Still. They all went to the New England Conservatory of Music together. OK I know Greg went to MIT but thats a rounding error.

This is a show by, for, and about nerds. It's my natural habitat. I of course signed up to become a contestant. You'll see I will got en and he VIP guest will be The Act. The Act is my musical bugbear. The name has been changed to protect the guilty. Go read that entry. It's one of my favorites.

The show was great and I got to have fun with Chris and Richie. I didn't get to talk to JoCo or marry Rachel but otherwise the evening was a success. I got out too late to go to Trader Joe's so I stopped at Pathmark on the way home. Then for some reason I conked out while watching Warehouse 13. Both Anthony Stewart Head and James Marsters were in the episode too. Not that it was a good one. show jumped the shark season 4. In any event I slept through the second half.

I was feeling good most of yesterday. I am not sure if the therapist gets credit or not. It's so much me finding things to excite me. I was making Budgiedome plans. I love Budgiedome plans. I was having fun with friends. And I have reset my expectations. I'm accepting that I'm not going to have something I very much want. I will diminish and remain Galadriel Thats a LOTR quote I don't need to double check. I'm up to Mount Doom, the climax of the book. I've been reading and rereading it since I was 10 or 11 and it still touches my soul. It reminds me that I'm a cheerful hobbit.

I wanted to write about politics but I want to eat breakfast even more. I'm having more adventures today so make sure you come back tomorrow and read about them. Till then; Farewell wherever you fare, till your eyries receive you at your journey's end.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile September 16, 2014
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