I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
September 13, 2013 - 5:04 p.m.
I almost started writing this half an hour ago but then remembered some things I had to do. Yes I wasn't wasting time. But now I know I don't have enough time to finish this so I'll have to do that after class. Once I update late I know I lose a lot of readers but there is nothing I can do about that.
So know what? I'm going to go and eat lunch now and give myself plenty of time so I don't have to rush.
And I got back from class and forgot to write. I'll do it now. I wasted a lot of time. I need coffee. But I'm going to write because I love My Gentle Readers.
The reason I need coffee is that I had a rough night. This time it was emotional, not physical. There was anxiety but it was brought on my personal stuff. I'm getting those old alienation feelings back again. There's been a weakening of bonds. I'm not feeling as much a part of things as I've grown accustomed. It's like Norm walking into Cheers and nobody saying "Norm!"
I started doing something bad for my mental health and listing the things I feel that way about. It does not pay to dwell on the bad things. It's even worse to tell other people about it. A great way to become alienated is to tell everyone, I'm feeling alienated. Not doing that forces perspective. So while I am saying it I'm not whining about details. Keep on moving, there's nothing to see here.
Last night I went to see Ariana Gillis at the The Living Room. Yes I just saw her at John Platt's On Your Radar on Tuesday but I didn't get to talk to her or her father David and this was a longer set. My timing was impeccable. I got out of the subway and into torrential rain. That almost caused an accident. I came up the escalator and nobody wanted to leave the station and there was no room for me to get off and there were people behind me. I shouted ahead for people to move and space was cleared just as I reached the top. It was a close thing. I didn't have room to put both feet flat on the ground. I immediately made my way away from the top to let the next person off and headed outside. I'm not made of sugar and I had an umbrella. They said it was going to rain all day and it had been raining on and off. Yes I got wet but since when is that such a big deal?
I got there a bit early and went to have pizza for dinner first. I got back to the Living Room at just about 8 PM when she was supposed to start. She and the band were still setting up. But they started not long after.
She did a very different set than at the Living Room. That's great. She has lots of new material and played old songs she doesn't perform that often. David said, "I guess his is her rock set." I like her rock set. The first time I saw her the performance was Trad Folk with an attitude. I'd love to hear her do those songs again and see if I'm just hearing them different now. That is not at all how I'd describe her. The only constants are that she has incredible talent, stage presence, and material. She's something special and I wish more people knew that. She's also a sweetheart. A prodigy doesn't have to be a enfant terrible.
Is it wrong that I want all the young musicians that I love to marry each other and breed a race of musical supermen? I'm the Nietzsche of folk music.
As I was leaving someone stopped me and asked if she had seen me around at shows. I told her that she probably has but we couldn't figure out whose. Her name is Caitlin. Yes another one. Carey and Elaine Benes have schicksappeal but I am Katnip. If your name is some variation of Catherine you're going to find yourself drawn to me.
OK I better get going. I have to go shopping, have dinner, and then go see Carolann, Bev & Ina Mae, and Meg at the Second Friday series. Then I'm off to Baltimore for less than 24 hours. That's going to bring back memories.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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