I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

January 11, 2014 - 3:30 p.m.

A Yay Is for Anais

I slept super late today and for a bad reason. I stayed up late last night because I had anxiety that if I went to sleep I'd have anxiety without distractions. That is totally irrational as most nights no matter how bad my anxiety is I fall right asleep and it's an escape from anxiety. Yes there have been a few nights that didn't work but it's the safest bet on how I can make myself feel better.

That's the kind of thing I could save for therapy but I find it so damn weird and interesting I want to write about it. That's a frequent theme in therapy, things I wish I could write hear for their literary value but can't because their things that even I consider too private. Usually it's because it's about another person. My personal privacy is a small price to pay for a well-written entry. Cabell said it best in his first book, The Line of Love. This should be every artist's creed.

"Listen," Francois said. "Yonder is Paris,--laughing, tragic Paris, who once had need of a singer to proclaim her splendor and all her misery. Fate made the man; in necessity's mortar she pounded his soul into the shape Fate needed. To king's courts she lifted him; to thieves' hovels she thrust him down; and past Lutetia's palaces and abbeys and taverns and lupanars and gutters and prisons and its very gallows--past each in turn the man was dragged, that he might make the Song of Paris. He could not have made it here in the smug Rue Saint Jacques. Well! the song is made, Catherine. So long as Paris endures, Francois Villon will be remembered. Villon the singer Fate fashioned as was needful: and, in this fashioning, Villon the man was damned in body and soul. And by God! the song was worth it!"
Now that's writing. I seem to have only quoted that once here. I could have sworn I did it more.

OK I have a lot to catch up on. I have not updated since late Thursday night. On Friday I didn't have much time with LORi, at 11:15 we left the house, she dropped her mother someplace then drove me to 30th street station. My bus wasn't for another hour and 15 minutes but I used my time well and read and grabbed a snack. I got to use my A ticket on the Bolt Bus and was one of the first to board so I got a good seat. My computer wasn't working so I played on my phone, read my book, and napped. I don't really mind the bus ride when there isn't traffic. Unbeknownst to me the bus made an extra stop down by the Holland Tunnel and that's where I got off. It's saved me at least a half an hour and maybe more.

I got home and decided, what the hell, I'll try the computer one more time. I plugged it in and wonder of wonder it worked! Otherwise you would not be reading this. My friend Dave thinks he can fix it, that the problem is a solder. Huzzah!

I didn't spend too much time enjoying my computer because I had to go back in the City to see the Amazing Anas (uh-nay-iss) Mitchell at Rockwood Music Hall. To make it even better I planned on meeting Erika there. I told her that I'd get there early and save her a seat. She got there before me and there was a line outside. A half hour early is usually way early enough at Rockwood. No matter the people on line before us didn't want the Statler and Waldorf seats.

I'm going to get spoiled. After spending three days with LORi and Steve here I was going out with a friend. There's a big difference between that and just running into somebody. We met on the line and had a really good talk before the show started. We both had emotionally important things to discuss. It's not getting to do that, that makes me lonely.

Anas is one of our bonding things. We discovered her independently and both love her. There is pretty much no singer/songwriter I like more than she. Is that right? Or is it her? This is her first time performing in the area since she became a mother. She lived here for a while but she and Noah, her husband, moved back to Vermont shortly before she got pregnant. Or maybe shortly after. Whatever it is I have been denied seeing her for too long.

This was the kind of show she hasn't done for even longer, songs from throughout her career. All that was missing was the Child Ballads that she recorded with Jefferson Hamer.

Her masterpiece is Hadestown she's been working on that since I first saw her almost ten years ago. It's a folk opera based on the Orpheus Myth. The album of it with, with Ani DiFranco, Greg Brown, and Justin Vernon as Persephone, Hades, and Orpheus, is my favorite album of the millennium. But she wants it produced in theatrically in New York and she's still writing songs for it. She performed one last night. She told us to not get attached to it as songs often make their way into and out of theater pieces but the audience consensus was that it was a keeper.

After the show we went downstairs and ran into Kevin. I wasn't surprised that they knew each other, just that I didn't know that they knew each other. I found out that I missed Aoife in the audience. We talked for a while then went to the back room and found that we had missed Anas . That was a disappointment. I didn't get to talk to her much last time I saw her. That's the problem when your favorite musicians hit it big. There's more competition for their time.

Erika and I talked to Kevin for quite some time then headed out to the subway. I took the with Erika for one stop before I switched to the . Why we were waiting on the platform Erika pointed to a woman with a baby. I had no idea why. Then she said, "It's Anas ." I really need new glasses. So we went over and said hi to her and Noah. Too bad I got off the first stop. But at least I got to catch up with Anas for a bit. We have a public transportation bond. I once took the LIRR with her after a show.

I have nothing on the agenda today. I will talk to Dave and see if he can fix my computer and I have to find a jeweler to take some links out of the band for my new watch. Other than that and some food shopping I'll take it easy. And since I won't do anything to write about I will get to write about the ideas bouncing around in my head. Now for breakfast, If my milk is still good I'm thinking omelet. If it turned then bacon and eggs. I might just for the latter anyway.





Annoying People - September 03, 2016
This Play Was The Pits - September 02, 2016
Banking on Getting Better or Avoiding Katastrophe. - September 01, 2016
Unlike Gilligan I Got Off the Island - August 31, 2016
Call of the Wilder - August 30, 2016




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile January 11, 2014
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