I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
July 13, 2016 - 11:29 a.m.
I had a long full day yesterday so I'll start by writing what I forgot to write yesterday about the Kristin Andeassen concert the day before. Hey I wrote my last entry so this is writing about something I did yesterday. I really shouldn't make my readers' heads explode before they get to read the bulk of the entry.
When Kristin sang Some Do I felt this desire to sing along. Then I heard that others were singing along in sotto voice. The two women sitting across from me were harmonizing. You know there are few things I like better than hearing people who know what they are doing harmonizing from the audience. As people noticed that other people were singing they stopped being sotto. It became a sing along, one with full harmonies from the crowd. Even I joined in. Kristin was delighted.
Now on to the rest of yesterday. Because I spent so much time writing I did not have time to eat breakfast or even make myself a peanut butter sandwich to have for lunch. I only had time to write because Jane is the nicest person in the world and drove me to the New Rochelle MetroNorth station. I had to go the St. Vincent's Hospital in Harrison to see my psychiatrist and my therapist. It was my usual commute, MetroNorth to the bus. I had breakfast in the cafeteria when I got there, it's fast, cheap, and good. Then I went up to the psychiatrist. I had missed my appointment and she didn't have an opening for ages so I went in on her walk-in day. That was yesterday. It was not the full intake I need but I got to talk to her and get my prescription. She upped my dosage of Zoloft to 150 mg. I should learn the name of the generic drug as that's what I take. I discussed something I suspected was a side effect; I'm dreaming for frequently and vividly. I was right, that is a side effect. I can live with it. I already forgot what it was but last night's were sort of enjoyable. Oh I remember. The dog I had as a kid was eating the poutine I put on the floor for her. She loved it. Like person like dog. I like when I dream of my dog being alive. It's been 40 years since she died but I still have the dreams.
I wanted to be sure to get to see the psychiatrist, her hours were 9-noon. I finished breakfast and got to her office at 9:35 or so. I was afraid there would be a long line. Nope, I only waited around 20 minutes or so and that included talking the time talking to two receptionists. I was finished with her around 10:20 and my appointment with the therapist was 2:15. I had a lot of time to kill. I went to the lobby where there is Wi-Fi and read the NY Times on my phone and did things on Facebook and other pages then read Game of Thrones. I decided I'd go into town for lunch. I'd walk but it was very sunny and I didn't bring my big hat and it was getting near noon when the sun was the worst. So I took the 11:45 bus. It didn't come to 2:05. I thought the bus left at 11:48 so I didn't get there till 11:46 and thought that as unlikely as that seemed I missed the bus and decided to not go into town and eat at the cafeteria. As soon as I crossed the street the bus appeared. I dashed and made it. I got a bagel and peanut butter. I then had a long wait for the 1:10 bus back to the hospital so I went to Carvel. You need to try their new Ghirardelli dark chocolate ice cream.
When I got back to the hospital it was more Game of Thrones till it was time for my appointment. I like Allison, my new therapist a lot more than Susan, my old one. It's less enjoyable, I don't just sit there and talk but it's more what I need. We discuss strategies for me dealing with my avoidance issues. It's uncomfortable in the right way. I also like her more as a person. If she did just sit and talk with me I'd enjoy it. I'm not there to enjoy myself but to get better.
After that I made a series of appointments to see her through August. I can't just say, "every week at the same day and time." That's annoying. I'm trying to make them far enough ahead that I can arrange it. Now it looks like Wednesdays at 1:30 will become my regular time but that doesn't start to after Falcon Ridge.
Then I got my exercise in as I knew I had to. The bus runs only once an hour and I missed it so I walked the mile and a quarter to the station. I was stupid and did not use sunscreen. I didn't get burned but it's still not good for my skin. It does help that it was later in the day.
I had to go to John Platt's On Your Radar at Rockwood Music Hall but I don't want to get there till 6:15 or so. I like to get there before doors to make sure the tables are reserved and schmooze with musicians. I was going to get there the easy way, take the MetroNorth right into the City even though that costs me another $6.25 or so. I have a ten trip to New Rochelle I pay a step up for the rest of the trip. But the conductor hadn't taken my ticket by New Rochelle so I got off there and saved the full $8.75. From New Rochelle and I can take the bus to the subway. Sure it adds an hour to the trip but I had an hour to spare. I used the subway portion to nap. I only got about 5 hours of sleep the night before.
When I got to the lower east side I had dinner at the Sugar Café then went to Rockwood. I was surprised there was already a line forming at 6:15. Doors are at 6:30. I grabbed seats for me, Rona, Bob, and Lori not LORi then headed back up to socialize with the people on the line. I got some quality time with Coco then we went downstairs. I always sit up front but I had to leave early yesterday so I sat in the back so I could leave without creating a disturbance. That's why reserved a seat for Lori and company. They sit in the back to be as far away from me as possible because Lori hates me. She gave me a chocolate peanut butter brownie in an attempt to fool me into thinking she loves me. I did not have time for the lab to run the full toxicology tests. If I die from poisoning today, you know who to blame. Get me justice!
Honor and Sharon sat not that far from me so I got to hang out with them. Honor asked, "do you know anything about Astrology?" I'm a total non-believer but I do, or thought I did." I don't know why she cared but she asked if Aquarius is a water sign. I said, "It's the water carrier so of course it is." I know a lot about astronomy but I even know that Scorpio, a desert animal is a water sign. I think it's because it looks like a lobster. Honor said she thought Aquarius was an air sign. She said she'd Google it. This is Honor So Googling it is what she does. If you don't know why that's funny look up "Internet Junkie Honor Finnegan" on YouTube.
Normally there are two artists on the On Your Radar bill but yesterday was an exception as the supergroup trio of Matt Nakoa, Robinson Treacher, and Brad Cole counted as two. John did the same thing when Brother Son played. Judy Cass was the first act. I saw Judy but got to hear only one song by the trio that I'm going to just call Coco's Harem. Then I had to make my exit. I was glad I got to see Brad before their set so I could tell him that I wasn't leaving because I hated him or the other guys in the band.
I was leaving because I wanted to go to my fantasy baseball team's All-Star Game Party. Before On Your Radar started I went every year. I have run over after OYR but that means some people had left already and it broke up soon thereafter. This year I wanted to spend more time male bonding with the guys. It had nothing to do with the fact that I'm in first place by a big margin and wanted to lord over the peasants. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Of late we've been having the party at Foley's a bar on 33rd Street. That's very easy to get to from Rockwood. I just hop on the and get off and 34th Street. So I did that and went to where the bar was between 6th and 7th avenues. It wasn't there! I checked on my phone and it said it was between 5th and 6th. They had moved it. Not only that but I know how they work. I was sure that I'd get there and everyone would say, "No, this is where it's always been." What they do is move places and then change everyone's memories and all records online and on paper. For reasons I don't understand I'm immune to their mind control. It's so frustrating. I'm the only one who knows that really happened and everyone else thinks I'm just forgetful. But I know that I'm right. A few of you are probably immune too. Let me know if you are one of those that know when they move things and everyone else forgets.
This delayed my getting to the party but it was still going. Angelo and his girlfriend were there, Marc, Ira and his son, and Chris. We talked baseball and if I'm with Angelo you can bet science fiction TV will come up. I showed him the picture that Katherine took of sunset in Brooklyn on Sunday where she captured the phasers from the Enterprise. Angelo couldn't believe it was an unaltered photo. He actually thought it was a still from Independence Day. There was league business done. Chris and Ira made a trade. Actually it was Chris and Ira's son who now is the general manager of the team. I was wondering why they are doing so well this year.
I'm glad I left early as the party broke up an hour after I arrived. Marc lives in PA and has to catch a bus home. I walked him back to the Port Authority. He probably got home not that much before me. I actually made decent time and was home by 11;15 or so.
On the way home I got a text from Honor, lording it over me because she was right, Aquarius is an air sing. She says I'm a sore loser for not just accepting that but ranting. But hey, if they are going to just make stuff up, which I what astrology does, can't they at least make it sound reasonable. If you are going to have water signs shouldn't all the signs that have to do with water be included? Oh, and, "Lording it over me," might be just a bit of an exaggeration.
I decided to do something about and make up my own astrology. The classes of signs are Vertebrates, Aries, Capricorn, Taurus, Leo, and Pisces, Arthropods, Cancer and Scorpio, People; Virgo, Aquarius and Gemini, and Miscellaneous, Sagittarius and Libra. Thinking about it now I'm changing Vertebrates into Mammals and moving Pisces into Miscellaneous. That evens things up more. If you want me to cast your horoscope using my new scientific astrology just sent me $100 via PayPal. Sending your birthday is optional; the money isn't.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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