I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

February 02, 2016 - 2:08 p.m.

Oh, Hello Alex

Monday happened, right? So there must be something for me to remember. But I don't remember anything. I must have been taken into an alien spacecraft then had my memory wiped; it’s the only possible explanation. Well OK if we want to stretch the idea of what's possible the government or a secret cabal that runs the world could have invented the memory wiping technology and kept it a secret but I don't find those possibilities credible. Or I could have just temporarily needed a moment to get my memories sorted because I'm an idiot. I know you won't believe it but I'm pretty sure that's what just happened.

Yesterday was Monday so I had therapy. I often go through the having to sort my memories things in therapy. That a big part of what therapy is. Most weeks I plan out what I'm going to say but yesterday I was having a conversation via Facebook messenger in the waiting room and that drove everything else from mind.

Last week my last minute plans with Alex fell through and we said we'd meet today after therapy. That is convenient as she works nearby and gets out not that long before I finish therapy. I sent them a text in the morning and was waiting to hear back from them. I knew they was at work and might not be able to respond. I was talking about this with my therapist then my phone chirped. It was from Alex. That was perfect timing.

After therapy I headed over to meet Alex. I asked them the name of the place we were meeting. They replied:

I Think Coffee
THINK
Not "I think"
Did you pick up what happened? The name of the place is Think Coffee. It was over on 4th avenue. I was entertained that the fastest route involved walking through the big costume store that goes through from Broadway to 4th. I'm 5 years old and still like being in that place. I don't know if they changed or if I just noticed it but the smaller "costume" place right next to it on 4th avenue is actually a fetish clothing store.

I found Think Coffee with no problem but had a bit more problem finding Alex as I don't see well and they had their back to me when I walked by. They saw me though so all was well. We then sat down and had an hour and a half of wonderful conversation. The coffee was pretty good too. This is the first one-on-one time the two of us have ever spent but we both knew that we'd enjoy one-on-one time. Alex is funny and smart and very much not boring but that was not the reason I wanted to spend time with them, well not the only reasons. There's no reason for it but I just feel comfortable with Alex. I can say things to them I can't say to other people. I could use therapist like that.

After the coffee I got my half-price bagels and headed home. I didn't really need more bagels, I had more in the freezer than I thought. I also have tons of English Muffins; they were buy one get two free. I am eating a lot of bread products. I did remember to freeze the bagels.

I had planned on having Cajun chicken for dinner but it had not defrosted so I was forced to eat the only thing that was, hot dogs again. That was not what I wanted. I didn't have any rolls so guess what I ate them on; that's right, one of the bagels.

Why do I keep watching Stargate Atlantis when I think it's stupid?

"You’re an idiot."

"Oh that's right."

Anyone know what movie I was referencing there?

I ripped a bunch of CDs last night. I have had some of them for years. They had been in odd places and neglected. I'm listening to them this morning. For the most part they were rightly neglected. I'm listening to them on WMP, and just using the recently added playlist. That's good as I don't know at first what I'm listening to. I can have an unprejudiced ear. My tastes fit my prejudices. The favorite thing I've heard is Michaela Anne. I listened and said, who's that? She's great. Then I looked. She moved from New York and I don't think I've seen her in a few years which is why I didn't recognize the voice immediately. It's nice to confirm that I really do like the music and it's not just because I like her as a person or because she's cute. I always worry about that. As there are plenty of people who I like whose music I don't like I'm not that worried. Of course I think a lot of people I know are swayed by those things and they problem aren't worried either. Being self-aware means always having doubts.

I heard WFUV Live Volume 16 and just like listening to the station most of it went in one year and out the other. Two songs caught my attention, Theo & the Get Down Stay Down and Mavis Staples. I had to skip past most of Robert deLong. One song was "that's a contrived song I hear a lot, what is it?" It was The Lumineers

Know what I did love? The Lords of Liechtenstein's new album Oh, Hello Sweetie Pie. I always want to call it "Hello Sweetie" and I hear River Song saying it.

I thought the album would be like the band show they had at the CD release show but it's closer to their duo shows with extra instrumentation. People think of the Lords as funny but very few of their songs are. The feelings generated by most of them are longing, wistfulness, eeriness, and loss. It just hit me that though the sound and writing are totally different than Kristin Andreassen, the album shares some qualities with her album Gondolier. They are both atmospheric, have a unity of sound, weirdness. I listened to it twice yesterday and planned on writing about it but the entry ran long. Now I'm listening again as I write this. I just got to one of the lines that I think it a good example of the style; "The janitor inside my head can't seem to sweep you out," From Hopeful. Some of their subject matter is not your usual song fodder. The Mothman is about a mysterious flying figure spotted in a town in the 50s. The sightings ended when a bridge in town collapsed. People thought either the Mothman caused the collapse or was trying to warn people about it. I think that's about as likely as the government wiping my memory theory. Gorilla is about the unfair treatment of movie monsters; "But we are living in America where the gorilla never gets the girl." The title character is King Kong. Gorilla is the one song that has the full band sound. On the album it's a rock song. A very strange rock song.

Many of the songs are about what young men have always written and sung about, young women. The titles of three songs are simply the names of girls, Marie, Louise, and Naomi. Two titles are geographic, Austin, and Niagara Street. The latter is about Buffalo. The former takes place primarily about in New York.

Here's the best thing I can say about the album. It's getting better with repeated listens.

Damn it's almost two. I better eat. It's breakfast sandwich time. I have to eat all those bagels.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile February 02, 2016
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