With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.
Too much sanity may be madness and the maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.
I enjoy paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.
2002-01-05 - 1:36 a.m.
I pretty much did nothing today. I didn't get a good night sleep and couldn't get up the energy to do much. During the day I talked to Leah, she's going through a tough stretch as you can see by her diary. The world isn't fair. She is as special a person as I've ever known and she's feeling the opposite.
I visited my father in dialysis today, which seems to be the habit I've gotten into. I stay with him till he's done and keep him company while he waits for the ambulette. The thought that this will go on for the rest of his life really scares him. I totally understand. I've said myself how you never feel quite human when you are attached to tubes. He'll get used to it though. Many people go through the same thing. It isn't the worst thing people have to put up with and he knows it.
I've discovered a new sign of aging in myself. I'm pretty sure I have arthritis in the top knuckle of the middle finger of my left hand. I don't think it's worth a trip to the doctor for, I'll just mention it next time I go.
I decided not to go out tonight. I just went to eat at Friendly's on the way home from seeing my father. I used to eat there all the time. I haven't been to that one in years though. I ate too much though and my stomach wasn't happy about that.
I could just end this now with my LOTR quote. Or I could wax philosophical about something. LOTR does inspire that in me. Instead I think I'll tell a story from my past. Not just any story but The story. The only one people ask to hear. The story of me on Jeopardy.
The date June of 1990, the place New York City:
Jeopardy was having their New York auditions. For years I had tried out for the show. I had been watching Jeopardy since the very first show, with Art Fleming as the host. The procedure was, you'd send it postcards and they'd pick some at random and you'd get to take the test. I was never a fanatic; I'd fill out five postcards each time. I know people who sent in 100. This time they picked my postcard. I got a letter telling me to go down the Pennsylvania Hotel to take the test.
I had been waiting years for this and felt confident. If there is one thing in the world that I'm good at it is trivia. When I got there, there were 79 other contestants. The first round was the written test. Alex Trebek recorded questions 50 questions that we had to answer. We were told that they were the equivalent of 1000 questions. The passing grade was a 35 and we were told that usually about 10% of the people passed. I don't know what my score was; they only told us if we made the cut. When the others were leaving they said. "Why don't you try out for Wheel of Fortune?" WOF is the brunt of many Jeopardy jokes.
The next round was the interview. The woman who spoke before me worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Every year she'd go on expeditions to Egypt. I was sure that she'd be picked to go on the show. When they got to me I was a bit self-conscious about what I did at the time. I worked as an SAT prep teacher. When they asked me what I did I told them but added "I'd much rather do what she is doing." I think that probably helped. The main thing is that I didn't freeze and seemed comfortable talking. I wasn't but I could always speak in public.
The third round was a mock game. They divided us into threes and gave us bells. We then played the game till they had a feel to how we acted. It wasn't a matter of how well we did but of our energy. Once I heard that I felt really good about my chances of being on the show. The wanted us to name the new category and amount right after we answered a question, with no hesitation. After a minute or so they told me to stop ringing in as I was answering all the questions.
That was it. They said they'd let us know sometime in the next year if we'd be on the show. They wouldn't really pin it down but about a quarter of the people who pass the test get on it. There was on guy who worked at Bad Carey's office who passed the test a few times. I knew he'd never be on the show though. He was so obnoxious.
About a month later I got the call, I should be out in Hollywood in late September to be on the show. They don't pay a thing for the contestants. I had to pay my own airfare and hotel, though they did recommend some places to stay. I bought an almanac and started studying. The first thing I studies was all the films that one the Best Picture, Academy Award. I knew a great deal of them so it was mainly a matter of memorizing the years. As soon as I was done Aubrey called me. He asked me what I was doing and I told him. He said, "then you just wasted your time, they never ask that." I didn't let that discourage me. I studied other things where I knew a great deal but needed to fill in the gaps. I memorized the number of each president. That is often helpful. They will often ask questions of the type, "The 23rd president was known for eating his Oreo slush with a spoon." There is no way you know the fact but if you know the number of the president you can answer the question. Other things I learned were world capitals and religions.
Finally in September I flew out there with Bad Carey. We made it a vacation with two days put aside for Jeopardy. They tape a week's worth, five, shows a day. All the taping is done on Monday and Tuesday. We spend the weekend site seeing. I had never been to California before so we made the most of our opportunity. The one thing we could never find was the cave where they filmed Robot Monster. I have since found out where it is and if I go there again I'll see it. On Sunday night we went to the Comedy Store. One of the comedians did a bit about Jeopardy that I loved. It was all about a contestant losing it and making fun of Alex.
I was there bright and early on Monday morning and all the contestants went to the green room for our orientation. Then we went into makeup. That was sort of surreal for me. The makeup guy was fun though, he had worked on Planet of the Apes, he had plenty of experience dealing with my 5 O'clock shadow I guess.
It was fun hanging out with the other contestants. We all talked about the episode of Cheers where Cliff was on Jeopardy and we said what our dream categories were. Before I met them I thought that everyone would be cocky like I was. I joked, "everyone thinks they are going to win but two out of three lose, like the two people who were going to play against me." I didn't know I was going to win but I knew I had a good shot at least. Some people weren't like that though; they thought they'd lose.
Those of us not on the show they were taping sat in the audience. I finally got my chance on the last show taped on Monday. I was very surprised when the reigning champ, David, a minister/clown, came up to me and said. "I know you are going to win." I wasn't trying to intimidate anyone but apparently I had.
When the show started my knees were visibly shaking, good thing they have the lecterns so the audience couldn't see that. As usual other people couldn't see how nervous I was and I got right into the game. I had a big lead an a few thousand dollars by the first commercial. I thought to myself, "too bad I can't do this full time. It worked out to about $24,000 an hour. I dreaded the interview part and didn't really say anything interesting. I was totally relaxed by then though. I was ready to take over for Alex then. By final jeopardy I had about $16,000 and the second place person had about $6,000 so if I bet $4,000 I'd be sure to win. Oh yeah what was the category? Academy Award Winning Motion Pictures. Talk about irony. I almost turned to the camera to give Aubrey an "I told you so." I was of course tempted to bet it all. If I had I'd have been the biggest one-day winner in Jeopardy history. I didn't though. I was sensible, I wasn't Cliff from Cheers. I knew they could ask something about the picture that won best sound in 1972 and I'd have no idea what it was. The actual question was one I could have answered without the prep, but it let me know I was right for sure. "This 1950 film was the only one featuring Marilyn Monroe to win best Picture." Not only was the year enough to give it to me, I had seen it for the first time about two weeks before. So I got it write and took home $20,800, not a record but not a bad haul either.
The one thing that people always ask me is, "What is Alex Trebek really like?" I'll tell you in two words, "pompous ass. " I'll give one example. There was a question about mythology and he had to read the name Selene. He pronounced it as two syllables; I knew it was three. Asimov went into that in his book The Gods Themselves. I waited for a commercial and told him it's pronounced Sell-uh-nee, not Seh-leen. He looked it up and his dictionary actually said Sell-ee-nee, three syllables like I said but it had the middle one different. His response was to say. "See you were wrong." He wouldn't admit he made a mistake.
I'm not going to give all the details of the other shows. Lets just say that Alex said I had "intellectual feet." I won two more shows and lost the fourth. The reason I lost was that I was tired by then and couldn't time the buzzer right. That is the key to the game. The games I won, I won because I had the timing down pat. Everyone on the show knows lots of stuff; the timing is the key.
The show wasn't aired till December. I had my fifteen minutes of fame then. I'd walk down the street and people would ask me if I was the guy from Jeopardy. I remember being asked that waiting outside the Bottom Line. Lots of people even knew my name. There are fringe benefits to being a celebrity for a day. I'd go into restaurants and get seated right away.
I didn't get the money till March; the rule is they can wait till 6 months after the show is aired so it was actually earlier than I expected it. The big things I bought were my car, that I still have, and a big screen TV for my parents.
So that's the story of me on Jeopardy. Maybe I'll go on Millionaire next, everyone tells me to.
Now for the LOTR quote of the day. It's one of my favorites.
It comes after Aragorn tells the story of Beren and Lúthien. he says:
So it is that Lúthien Tinúviel alone of the Elf-kindred has died indeed and left the world, and they have lost her whom they most loved.
My titling my entries after the chapter I'm up to lasted just one entry. I'll just say what I'm reading, Many Partings.
The International Jewish Banking Conspiracy - October 07, 2008
On the Road to Westchester County - October 06, 2008
Inside the Madison Square Studio - October 05, 2008
I'm a Bosniac and I'm debating like I've never debated before - October 03, 2008
Islands in the Stream of Consciousness - October 02, 2008
Email me: GordonLew at gmail
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile 2002-01-05
