I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
March 30, 2017 - 10:33 a.m.
I should have gone out yesterday but I didn't. Good thing I have therapy today; it forces me to go out and I can deal with why I didn't. It looks like a beautiful day. That's extra good as with the time for my appointment the easiest way to get there is to make the half hour walk from the train station to the hospital. I might make the walk back to the station too.
I noticed a new habit. When I cook, or clean up in the kitchen I find myself earwormed. That's not new but what I hum is; It's melodies I can't identify. Am I making them up on the spot? Are they something I heard but don't consciously remember? Is it like George Harrison and My Sweet Lord?. Melodies have always sprung into my head unbidden but not every day and not so reliably triggered. I bet now that I am conscious of it, it will stop.
I called the MTA lost and found. My backpack has not been turned in. That's very sad. I will need to replace some of what was in it and the bag itself. For now, I'm using one of my NERFA bags. The extra phone batteries and the charger are bad. I might have to start to carry around a plug-in charger.
This might end up being very short. I don't feel like writing anything too heavy and most of what's in my ideas bin is like lead. I could have said neutronium. That used to be a thing in science fiction; saying something was made of neutronium. The Doomsday Machine in Star Trek was made of solid neutronium. Neutronium is real. It's what neutron stars are made of. It's essentially a giant atomic nucleus with no protons held together by gravity not the strong force. It is incredibly dense, which is why it's popular in science fiction. It's also a liquid, there is no such thing as solid neutronium.
I don't write enough about my science geek side. It's a huge part of what I am. It's the most central element of my identity. It was already well established by the time I stared school. The fact that I am not a scientist is one of the great disappointments of my life. That doesn't stop from me considering scientists my people.
I am still fascinated by it. I love reading about science. More than anything I love thinking like a scientist. Science is an outlook on life dealing with how we discover truth. It is why I get so upset at people quoting unreliable online sources. I don't just truth by how it makes me feel. If it makes you feel good you should be more skeptical, not less.
It's in my bones that science does not need justification any more than art does. They are inherently good. It's not a coincidence that funding for both is under attack now. They are the most abstract human endeavors; the ones that are most human. The humanities are not science but science is one of the humanities. Philistines cannot see their value.
Math is not a science but it is the language of science. It's why math is always put in the same division of colleges as the sciences. It's useful or mathematicians and scientists to talk to each other. They can inspire each other.
What are my favorite sciences? I'll give tiers.
Physics – Cosmology
I'm setting a record for finishing early, it's only 10:19 I woke up an hour early and this is very short. It still took me as long to write as longer entries. I didn't have any of it planned out other than being earwormed when I am in the kitchen.
I still didn't do things I should do yesterday but I did something challenging; as part of my therapy I try to do something every day. I'm trying to keep this under wraps so I'll just say I contacted someone about participating in a project I'm working on. When it's finalized, you'll be the first to know. That's not true. I'll know before you as will everyone directly involved and maybe friends I talk to before I blog. But I will write about it at the first opportunity. You'll still be one of the cool kids ahead of the curve.
The WFUV starts tomorrow. Damn, I just realized that. I'm glad I got up early as tomorrow I have to be up before five. You won't hear from me again till Saturday. I'll be at WFUV from 6 AM – 4:30 PM then I'm going into the City to see Neha at Rockwood Music Hall 3. She is doing two shows one at 7 and one at 8:30. I'd tell you to join me but they are both sold out. I had no idea she was so popular. You need to check her out.
So Tired, I Haven't Slept a Wink - April 10, 2017
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