I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
October 07, 2014 - 12:25 p.m.
It's so weird. I wasn't planning on writing this morning. I wrote last night. Today I was supposed to volunteer but after that bad days of Crohn's I need to rest. So now I'm home and with time and kept opening word to start writing and remembered that I blogged last night. This time I gave up and decided to write though I don't know about what yet. This could prove interesting.
A friend of mine has scared the hell out of me. I won't go into details but letting someone she just met on Sunday have far too much influence on her. Every alarm bell in my brain is going off. My alarms do a pretty good job.
Last night I got a Facebook message from a friend. If you asked me to describe the typical demographics of a friend of mine it would be a very intelligent creative person and probably a musicians. She fits those demographics but I was surprised to get the message as we have never talked that way before. Previously we have only talked when she was performing or at NERFA. As social as I am I find it very difficult to message someone for the first time out of the blue when it is just to talk. That's all she wanted, nothing specific, just the pleasure of my company. I am not sure that I've ever done that. So here's the thing, I am very happy that she did. I'm always afraid that other people wouldn't be very happy if I messaged them out of the blue. That they'd in fact be annoyed. Maybe I'm wrong. The thing is I know if most people contacted me like that I would be annoyed. She is the exception. Did she know she's the exception or just take a flyer? What's the risk-reward ratio of talking to someone out of the blue? I guess it depends on how reliable your judgment of how other's think about you is.
I don't have great faith in my judgment. I know that I'm well liked but I don't know how well and in what circumstances. Am I intruding or not? I'm not even sure if this is anxiety or intellectual curiosity on my part. I think it's both.
There's an article in the New York Times blogs on the benefits of keeping a diary, How Keeping a Diary Can Surprise You. It surprised me. I didn't think I'd be doing this the rest of my life when I started 14 years ago. Just as the article says I love when I go back and read what I was doing years ago. This one is short but I bet when I look back on this in 5 years I'll smile. I'll also wonder, "who the hell messaged me?" I'll then sit there trying to figure it out and getting it wrong. I will give myself a hint, She blogs too. And that reminds me of the best part of our conversation, chocolate! Chocolate is the basis of all my best friendships. As I told Mya when outlining my religion, "The One Commandment: Give people chocolate, especially Gordon and his friends." Mya's religion listed on Facebook is Gordaism. There's a reason I love Mya. OK she gives me chocolate. You know me too well.
Look a bunny!
Sorry chocolate distracts me. I was writing about writing. Like the article says I love going back and reading the details of my ordinary days. Of course I love reading the details of my extraordinary days even more.
My digestive system seems to have settled down. I'm feeling fine but my legs are still a bit weak. I am not going to go into WfUV later today which I was considering. I'll rest and get strong and do a 12-hour-shift tomorrow.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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