I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
-H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me—that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter—except to show how very dull we are,”
-James Branch Cabell

September 22, 2014 - 7:20 a.m.

No Depression

I'm taking Heather back to the doctor in Forest Hills today which means once again getting up at 7:30 and not having time to write and once again I'm up early enough to write a quick update. History is repeating itself. Is the first time as tragedy and the second time as farce? I don't think so. Too bad, I'd like to write a farce. Once again I'll be demonstrating my unused BBE (Best Boyfriend Ever) skills. If I do that for someone who isn't my girlfriend imagine what I'd do for someone who is. You're missing your chance ladies.

I did laundry yesterday for the first time in what seemed like 2 years. I'm pretty sure it was less than that but I had a lot of clothes to wash. As often happens I realized I didn't wash some items I should have.

I went over to Heather's for dinner, we had pizza. That's my second time in a week. I always say I need to eat more pizza. You know why I don't? I don't like sitting in pizza places alone. If I am alone I want to sit someplace nicer.

It's time for a mental health report. My depression is for the most part gone. I'm still unhappy about what triggered it but it is no longer dominating my thoughts. I can turn it off. My therapists always praises my making myself happy skills. It is something I learned. I have to not let myself mope. Sally Bowles gave the best advice, "What good is sitting alone in your room/Come here the music play." That's what I did. That and went to the movies and took walks and read Tolkien. I used anything with magic. It's the kind of magic that's real. There is no magic that changes the world but there's plenty of magic that changes our perception of the world.

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me—that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter—except to show how very dull we are,”
While I was depressed I felt I was running a Red Queen's Race, running as fast as I can just to stay in the same place. But after enough time I found that I got someplace.

Does my therapist get any credit? I don't know. I got over these things without a therapist too but this might have been fast. The only honest answer is that there's not enough data to determine the answer.

It's a bit frustrating that I can't write about some of my thoughts on what happened. I had some nice insights. I can tell my therapist but it's not really therapy material, it's me being the outside observer of my own life stuff. I always like that as blog material.

Sadly I have to get ready to go now and can't write more. Maybe I'll write again later. I would like to write about the outside world. I had something planned about some Pew Research Studies that I have been waiting for a slow day to write about. But now I better post this, get dressed, and head out to my natal borough.





No Depression - September 22, 2014
Aoife La La - September 21, 2014
Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn (think Dragnet) - September 20, 2014
The Best Slaid Plans - September 19, 2014
Rohe Call or Give Ries a Chance - September 18, 2014




Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile September 22, 2014


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