I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
May 25, 2015 - 12:08 p.m.
I slept late yet again. My alarm went off at 8:30 and I chose to go back to sleep. I have to get out of this schedule. I thought getting up early yesterday would do it but it didn't. To make it worse I'm still tired now. I will force myself to go out today. If nothing else I'll take a walk. It would be nice if I could spend the day with somebody but that's not going to happen.
I have not gone out since I last wrote. That always makes it harder to write. I have something to write about but I'm reluctant to. I'll do it. My friend Joe died. He was Lori not LORi's husband. He was very ill and we knew it was coming. He handled it well. I hope I can do the same.
When my parents died I wrote quite a bit about death. I'm an anti-mystic. I don't believe in any form of life after death. When we die we simply cease to exist. Joe is not happy or sad or anything else. The important thing is I love Joe. I liked being with him. His existence gave me pleasure. His existence gave Lori more pleasure. Lori's pleasure gave me pleasure. As always I don't feel bad for Joe. He is beyond that. Death is sad for the living not the dead.
Let's keep on death. John Nash died yesterday. He's the mathematician the film A Beautiful Mind was about. No he's not related to me. So many people lamented his death on Facebook. I will never get that. Lots of people die every day. There are a lot of deaths more tragic than his. He and his wife died when the taxi they were in crashed. But it's not like his life was cut short. He was 86. It's not like the world lost all the great work he could have produced. He made all his contributions before he was 30. The people lamenting him don't know him and probably don't understand his work or why it is important. It's just that there was a movie made about him and his problems, he was schizophrenic. Joe's death affects me, not John Nash.
Nash was a mathematician and he does share my name so I read his obituary They did a terrible job explaining his work. He made two big discoveries. What's amazing is that they are in totally different fields. He won the Nobel Prize in economics for his work on games theory. He laid the foundation of the theory of games that are not zero sum, all the winnings and losses do not add to zero. This is the heart of economics. We can all make money, not just take it from each other.
His other work was in differential geometry. In the intended edition of my life I might very well become a differential geometer .It's the math at the heart of relativity. The times explanation of what he did was useless and in fact wrong. And now I can't find it. Oh well. I looked around the internet till I found what it really was. Cool stuff.
I found something to do tonight. Tara O'Grady is playing at the NYLO Hotel. Or is that the Hotel NYLO? Whatever. It's always fun to hear Tara and it's been too long. It's free. Why don't you come up and join me. She'll be there from 7:30 to 10:30. Not sure what time I'll get there. I'll leave after dinner. I'd love some company. Let me know and we'll make plans.
Hey Joe - May 25, 2015